Time to say Goodbye
by Ramica
Summary: Saying goodbye to one person you love is hard enough, but Rama is about to lose two people she loves at the same time. Part of the Rama series.
1. Chapter 1

Time to say Goodbye

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

**Prologue:**

Ramiela sat in the lotus position across from her Sensei; she was about to perform an exercise that had become somewhat familiar to her over the last year. The ability to teleport from one place to another, through meditation, was a new skill and one Rama had more or less stumbled upon in the last year.

When it first happened she had merely brushed it off as a dream, the second instance she had been totally unsure of, but couldn't deny it had saved her life, simply because a group of Elite Foot soldiers had severely injured her and disarmed her. She had been entirely alone, and though she had sent a mental call to her family she had no idea if they would arrive or not.

What had followed that teleporting event was something, that even now she had a hard time understanding, trying to explain it to her family later was even more difficult. Her family had thought she had died after seeing her lifted in to the air and vanishing into the stormy night.

Instead she had teleported to a parallel world that had many similarities, including four male ninja turtles. Rama had returned after about two months had passed in this other world, but when she returned home only two weeks of her time had passed. She had told her family of her adventures, and of course she had the fine katana set with the embossed jade hilts, that she had taken from Leo's Ryu but little else to back her up.

Leo of course had been very intrigued by the teleporting skill and decided that Ramiela would have to gain control of it. First because if she could pop in and out of places, he wanted to verify that she had control of where she was going and didn't end up some place where she might be in extreme danger. Secondly Leo felt that if he could figure out how this feat was performed that the entire clan might be able to make use of it.

It would come in handy to pop into the lair, if by chance you happened to be surrounded by the enemy, of course if the enemy came with you it might not be such a good thing.

So Leo was not only trying to grasp how to achieve the mental teleportation, but also trying to figure out how useful or dangerous it could be.

Since Rama was the only one to accomplish it, it fell to her to lead the way.

At first Ramiela had been leery of attempting it, fearing she would end up in a strange place and never get home again or, perhaps ending up somewhere that might be far more threatening then facing the entire Foot clan.

Yet a part of Rama longed to gain control and full understanding of this ability to teleport between one place and another, she had her own reason for accomplishing this feat, and with that goal in mind she remained focused and driven as her Sensei.

The first few sessions hadn't gone well at all, but over the year since her return; with plenty of practice she now could make small jumps almost anywhere within New York City.

Leo for his part maintained mental contact with his student, both to keep track of her and to assist in providing the clues he wanted her to use in trying to open the portal. The mental connection also permitted Leo a better comprehension of how to do the task. So he helped to refine the method.

Leonardo had found that he could pass through a portal or doorway that Rama created or use his own mental generated door.

Once Ramiela had achieved a fairly good rate of success in teleporting when she wanted to, and to the specified place. Leo opted to test her by giving her a certain landmark to appear at or by.

Just a couple months back Leo decided to see how far they could travel using such a strange means of transportation, and asked Ramiela to teleport to the farm. He gave her the information he wanted her to use for the jump and both of them went into meditation bearing that image.

Shortly after both of them arrived at the farm, though they each felt nauseous and slightly dizzy, feelings that were compounded when they made the return trip home.

Rama had groaned wearily when they had returned to the meditation room of the lair, " This teleporting thing isn't that great over long distances. I felt a little like this when I came home from that parallel world too," she recollected.

" You didn't say anything about it before" Leo accused.

" You didn't ask Sensei" Rama retorted.

" How about when you entered their world?" Leo wondered.

" I don't know, I was injured from the Foot attack and suffering a bit of a concussion." Rama confessed, " I didn't even remember who I was at first though Don Tello looked awfully familiar to me. I was just really out of it when I first arrived" she concluded.

Leo rolled his eyes as he moaned; " _Now_ she tells me."

Tonight though was to see if Rama could manage a series of small jumps, Leo had sent his three brothers out to various spots in the City and he no wanted to see if Ramiela could make consecutive jumps without any adverse effects.

Rama's first stop was to be the Brooklyn Bridge where her Uncle Raphael waited. She focused on one of the upper reaches of the bridge, the river below, the dark night above, and lights from the city shining on either side of the river.

She added to this image a strong desire to be at that particular spot, for this was an important part of teleporting, the need and longing had to be manifested, to aid in opening the door.

Rama knew Leo would be accompanying her on these jumps, just as he had for all the previous ones, except for her accidental ones. She felt confident and sure of herself, she knew what she was doing now, and how to do it.

That meant that very soon now, she could go to see Devon, return to him and his family to teach them how to use this skill. More importantly though, she would be with her beau again, she hadn't seen Devon since valentine's of last year, when they had spent a night close to one another enjoying the evening.

Devon was, as far as Rama was concerned her soul mate, and she didn't care what it took to see him again, it would be worth it, to once again be by her lizard boy's side. He was very much like her, in that he was a mutant, a ninja and a future jonin.

She missed Devon dearly and not a day had gone by that he hadn't crossed her mind in some degree; after all he was her betrothed. She recalled the long battle, with Devon by her back, snapping his tail around as they attacked the enemy.

Rama quickly schooled her thoughts away from Devon as she concentrated on where she was suppose to go, and before Leo could reprimand her about her thoughts.

Within a few minutes of entering a deep meditation she found herself by her Uncle's side.

" I made it, in record time too" she gloated cheerfully.

" Yeah but where's Leo?" Raph demanded.

" He is coming, he wants me to do the jumps. So I have to lead." Rama insisted.

Raph crossed his arms over his plastron " Humph!" he snorted, " He doesn't know how to do it so he needs you to show the way."

Rama smiled, " I'm sure he could do it on his own now, especially after all his supervising."

Suddenly Leo appeared, " First mark good Ramiela. Second marker, by our memorial spot at ground zero." He announced.

Rama nodded acknowledgement of his brisk order. " Whose there Uncle Donatello?" she inquired.

" Yes, your dad is at our last stop, which will be by the statue of Balto in Central Park." Leo answered.

Rama smiled, " Easy." She grinned cockily, as she eased herself down onto the bridge to ease back into meditation.

" You're late, and why donchya do some of the work for a change?" Raph wondered aloud.

Leo arched an eye ridge refusing to answer as he settled down to a sitting spot to follow Rama on her next jump.

Rama arrived at her next destination and paused for a moment, as she almost always did, to reflect and say a silent prayer. She noted her Uncle standing with his head bowed and she maintained her own silence so as not to disturb him. He turned and gave her a faint smile as Leo appeared.

" So how are you two feeling?" Don inquired gently.

" I feel all right, it is the long jumps that seem to mess with the body" Rama theorized.

" Could be to do with the sudden displacement over space." Don muttered scowling slightly as he considered that thought, his brow furrowed.

Rama rolled her eyes and giggled a bit knowing that her uncle would probably go off and work it out later.

Don gave his head a quick shake, " How about you Leo?"

" I feel all right physically Don but…" Leo cocked his head slightly and he seemed focused somewhere else.

" Sensei?" Rama began but then she felt something, the lingering meditative state told her that there was something terribly wrong. She knew it had to do with back home.

Before Don could question either of them further, wondering silently if they were just now suffering from the second teleportive jump, he felt something shift, suddenly. " Splinter" Don gasped.

Splinter was at home resting; of course that was about all he did now was rest. The aged ninja Master had been suffering from the usual ravages of age, often forgetful and as time went on, seeming to spend more time in the past then present. Yet he always had his good moments of clarity that reminded all of the family of what he had been when he'd been younger.

A few months back the aged Master had suffered a bad debilitating stroke that had taken even those clear moments from him. His health had been rapidly going down hill and all of them believed that his time was not far off.

Rama felt her heart ache at the thought that the Master was in trouble, perhaps even perish the thought, passing, and all of them tuned in as they were to their family members through their mental capacities could feel it but they were too far away to get to him.

Rama felt hot bitter tears form in her eyes, as she shook her head, she slipped quickly back into the meditative state trying to calm herself, but another part of her was longing to return home, to be with the Master to help him in any way she could.

_' One of us really ought to be there'_ She mused to herself.

" This isn't the time to continue this exercise let's get home quickly" Leo announced in a low choked voice as he sent a mental message to Raph and Mike to return home as quickly as possible, just in case.

Then he glanced at Rama and noticed she had disappeared. He hadn't even noticed what she had been doing, but he was fully aware of the route his student would opt to use, only at the moment with the uncertainty of what had happened to Splinter, Ramiela might not have focused on her destination.

" Oh gods, Ramiela no! Not now!" Leo moaned, suddenly fearing the worst.

Don placed a hand on his brother's shoulder " We might not have lost her Leo, she has a better idea of what she is doing lets jut wait until we see if she is at home or not." He mumbled doing his best to assure his brother. Though right now Don just wasn't sure about anything.

TBC

**Jessiy:** If you are reading this and haven't received my e-mail you can find the story of Rama meeting Devon under Reinbeauchaser's bio as Reinbeauchaser and I wrote Reflected Reality together. Thanks for all your reviews.


	2. Chapter 1: The Loss

Time To Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: Possession is 9/10 of the law. Suffice to say I do not posses any TMNT. I do posses their wives and children however.

Author's Note: I am being lazy and decided that sentences spoken in bracketsare to be considered Japanese. You might want a box of tissue handy for this. Character Death. Ramica.

Chapter One: The Loss

Rama emerged in the hallway just outside of Splinter's room, she knew that there was usually someone with the Master except when he was resting, and she reached out with her senses getting a quick feel of who was where, before entering the room.

Kaliann glanced over her shoulder, from the chair by the Master's bedside, " Oh Rama I'm so glad you're here, the Master…" she began fear and uncertainty in her tone, her blue eyes looking larger and rounder then normal.

Rama looked at the bed where the Master's thin frail body seemed to be locked in convulsions, he twisted and almost seemed to contort himself, it was a hard sight to see and she comprehended her cousin's confusion. Kaliann wanted to help but wasn't sure what to do. The familiar scent of sandalwood incense tickled her nostrils.

" It is all right Kaliann." Rama soothed as she dropped her hand on the girl's shoulder.

" I didn't know what to do, but I sensed something was wrong" Kali babbled shaking her head.

Rama trembled inwardly, more at the inevitable feeling of hopelessness that permeated the room; " Master it is Ramiela" Rama began as she moved to the bed.

Splinter gnashed his teeth, his tail whipped about, he reached out with a hand attempting to claw, with the yellowish brittle nails on his long spindle like fingers, as he muttered something incoherently in Japanese.

Rama took hold of the thrashing arm and held it gently but firmly, as Kali seemed to shrink back.

" (Master, you have lived a long life, you have more then earned a chance to be at rest and peace now. Your family will be fine. I know you fight to stay with us, but Master we will manage, for you will never be gone from us.) " Rama spoke softly, as she fought back tears, " (You will always be a part of us and we will never forget your teachings, and you will always be **_the_** Master, oh noble grandfather.) " She swallowed, " (You have taught us most valuable lessons of respect and honour. We will forever be grateful for your teachings, but now you have a choice to stay trapped in your illness or be free, we wish for you only the best Master, you have earned your reward and your freedom among the astral plains )"

Splinter gasped slightly letting out a large breath of air, his chest seemed to shrink as he exhaled, he opened his eyes and seemed to focus on the one seated by his side, " Ra" the name suddenly escaped him, and his eyes rolled shut as his hand squeezed hers.

Rama gave a faint smile and took a deep breath as she began to sing one of his favourite Japanese songs, the one she had always sung to honour him, the same song that Devon had once joined her on, while they had worked to uncover Don Tello's shell to see if perhaps the carapace was a well made fraud.

…

The boys seemed to converge in the same place as they hurried towards the lair all of them moving at top speed, and all of them silent, including Mike who wasn't even questioning his daughter's absence from the group, as they moved through the tunnels.

All of them feared the worst yet none of them wanted to speak of it, for fear that by doing so, they would jinx themselves and truly lose their mentor, even though they knew it was inevitable.

Kaliann met them all at the front door her sombre expression and the tears that trickled down her cheeks combined withthe numb stare from her eyes, caused Leo to suddenly inhale a sharp breath over his teeth.

The others suddenly hung back glancing nervously from one to the other, wondering if they should ask, or what to say.

Kaliann raised her head and took a deep breath in a low shaky voice, hardly more then a whisper she began " Rama doesn't think it will be much longer, she didn't want to leave him. I'm sorry, I couldn't bring myself to stay," She said as she bowed her head. " I tried but…I just couldn't father." She apologized.

Leo smiled gently at his first born daughter " It is all right Kali, staying in there right now is not expected of you or anyone who doesn't feel they are capable of being with him." Leo turned to look at each of his brothers, " I'm going be with him and of course you can too," he assured them, " But I won't hold it against you if you don't want too." He stated.

Don gulped " I'm going."

Mike nodded " Count me in Leo."

Raph stood undecided then agreed as well.

The four ninja went towards Splinter's room and walked in they heard the soft tone of Rama singing but her voice sounded husky and half choked, they entered to see her close by the Master's bed.

Leo smiled as he saw the faint, shallow rise and fall of Splinter's chest, but a quick probe, told him that the Master was fading. The life force, the will to live no longer seemed there.

" (Your sons are here to bid you goodbye Master.) " Rama informed Splinter as she finished the song. She turned and shrugged, " I don't know if he can hear me or not but it seems to soothe him a little." She murmured, as she fought to control her tears, that were both threatening to fall and some had managed to escape tracing wet paths down her cheeks.

Leo glowered at her " You shouldn't have teleported here" he accused gently, in such a way as to tell her that they would talk about this further later.

Rama raised her head, " I knew what I was doing and where I was going and he needed me here." She declared in her obstinate way, telling her Uncle that she only did what she thought was best under the circumstances. She didn't bother to add, that what ever had struck Splinter might have finished him before any of them had arrived, if she had not done as she had.

Splinter looked up and glanced in a corner of the room he hissed and his tail slapped the bed sheets though with little force " I see death in the corner he waits for me now. "

Rama felt spooked by those words, for she herself could almost sense another an alien presence but she felt that perhaps it was just the present mood that caused the feeling.

She got up to move away from the Master's bedside and take her proper place at the bedside, by the rest of the clan's ninja as they gathered about the bed.

Raph trembled and shook as he saw his Master, his father, and he found that looking on him was far too much, especially in the room that seemed filled with darkness, and the heavy cloak of sorrow and despair that was thicker then any fog, and just as cold to be enfolded in. He broke from the room moments after entering unable to stand his ground or maintain his position.

Mike felt tears falling unbidden from his eyes and did nothing to cover it or hide it, while Don was sniffing slightly and taking deep breaths.

They watched speaking softly each by turn speaking a few words in Japanese while watching the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, his breathing gradually slowing.

" Raphael was here… " Leo began.

Splinter's lip curled into a strange crooked smile as he nodded ever so slightly, then he laid back down into his pillows, his head making a deeper impression, took one final breath and then breathed no more.

It was as if he had only been waiting for his sons to arrive before leaving. As if their being there had been the last permission he needed before passing on.

Rama raised her hands to her face to cover her eyes as she began to weep harder for the loss of the Master, inevitable as it was, it still hurt and it slightly amazed her that it could still catch her so unprepared as it had.

Leo pulled the blankets closer around the still form of his mentor, unable to totally cover the ninja Master. He looked over towards those who stood with him and saw Mike looking away. Heard Rama's soft weeping and took in Don's quiet, stoic stance, but in spite of how formal Don was trying to be Leo could see the faint shaking in his intelligent brother's frame.

He swallowed hard, wondering what he was to do now, feeling a deep emptiness inside of him.

Somehow the five ninja huddled together holding each other near the foot of Splinter's bed.

Don finally released his tears, as he felt the companionable hug of his family and sensed their own echoing sorrow and loss, things would never be the same, Don knew.

Yes, Leo had more or less been the Master of the clan for some time now, but Splinter had always been there a part of them and their family. He knew Splinter had not wanted any of them to cry, or be too upset at his death, but this knowledge did little to ease his newfound grief and pain.

…

Kali of course had told her mother and the news had quickly travelled to those who were not as perceptive to their surroundings, such as the young ninja in training and the wives. Karena had instantly called Sara at work to inform her that Splinter would most likely be passing soon.

" I'll be home as soon as I can. Oh and Karena try to keep Raph there for me okay?" Sara responded quickly.

" Yeah, I'll see what I can do, but don't expect him here." She retorted. Karena shuddered as she headed towards Splinter's bedroom, she paused and took a deep breath, just as Raph came barrelling out of the room, moving so fast he bumped into her almost knocking her over.

Raph realizing his error quickly moved an arm out to catch and steady his sister in law. " Sorry Karena I can't stay here, I just…"

Karena tried to smile but failed, " You can't run from it either Raph. Sara should be home soon."

Raph stood head hung, his arms lowered at his side with his hands clenching and unclenching, " No he's finally going leave us, just like he's been threatening to." Raph muttered grimly, " He's going leave us and then what we will have?" He demanded suddenly throwing out an arm in his anger.

" We still have each other Raphael. You have your wife and children and all of us too" Karena declared, " You are not alone now." She reminded him firmly.

Raph glowered at her, his eyes suddenly narrowing as he stood up straighter, he took a step closer until he was toe to toe with her. Karena used to Raph's intimidation tactics stood her ground looking him in the eye.

"Come on Raph you aren't the only one hurting, why not help me make tea?" Karena suggested.

" I hate tea," Raph snapped. " I'd rather have a beer."

Karena smirked " If running away isn't going help you, then getting drunk to forget about it is even worse."

" You're starting to sound like your husband all your preachin'" Raph sneered.

" Raph you are needed here. You know that right, even if you can't be in there with him, you have to be here." Karena stated, " If you think that I am wrong go ahead and go." She stepped to one side watching him.

Raph nodded as if he had won as he headed for the front door, Karena followed after him but when he got to the door Raphael, could only open it and look out at the echoing concrete tunnels beyond.

He gasped looking one way then another, but feeling like he couldn't take one step beyond, in stead he leaned in the open door frame bowed his head and did his best to hide the tears he felt burning at his eyes.

Karena came up behind him and hugged him close to her. " I was going go in Splinter's room to be with you all, but I felt it was probably better to let you be with him. He meant more to all of you, then he…" Karena gulped and shook her head slightly, " I'm rambling and I just can't seem to help it," she admitted.

She did her best to lead him away from the door and noted how willingly he came, his shoulders slumped in utter defeat. She led Raph to the couch and sat down beside him, offering silent support.

Raph's head shot up, and Karena heard the soft wailing of Tessica, Mike and Cathy's youngest, as if she had sensed it too.

Raph stood up abruptly and let out a very familiar yell, a call he had given once before when he had felt that he had lost his Master, only that time they had been able to regain him, and he knew this time they would not be so lucky.

Raph shouted towards the heavens and whatever gods or beings might be listening, shouted out his pain and sorrow with a single word at the moment of his Master's demise.

" Splinter!"

Then he crumpled back on the couch sobbing and pounding the cushions with his balled fists. Karena could only sit by and watch feeling her heart ache as her own tears found their release.

TBC

**Reinbeauchaser:** Ah yes, true angst and hopefully a few tissues needed for this chapter. As for the turtle's ability to mind read do recall that most people only use ten percent of their brainpower. I have read that ninja are fully capable of such things, reading minds, influencing them ect. So perhaps ninja are trained to simply use more of their brainpower. Course mutations can do strange things too. A gratitude for your insight.

**Chibi Rose Angel:** Yes, death of a loved one is always difficult to handle, even in cases where it is sort of expected or almost a blessing, as in the terminally ill. A gratitude for your insight.

**Pretender Fanatic:** You might recall this skill of teleporting from RR, clearly they aren't over yet but what happens from here remains to be seen. A gratitude for your insight.

**Digimon Girl:** Hopefully you enjoy this newest instalment to this story. A gratitude for your insight.

**Lenni:** Yes they do lose Splinter, no getting around that. The other one is a surprise yet to come, I can't give everything away. A gratitude for your insight.

**Pacphys:** Keep reading and you will learn who the other one is. A gratitude for your insight.

**Jessiy:** Yes sooner or later had to come to this story in the Rama series, the loss of Splinter. The whole family is bound to be a little lost for some time. A gratitude for your insight.

**Lunar Ninja:** You are too late to save Splinter, too bad you can't teleport unless your dragons can help you in that area. A gratitude for your insight.


	3. Chapter two: Grieving

Time to say Goodbye

Disclaimer: Yes we own no turtles; we own no karate type adolescent turtles today.

Chapter Two: Grieving

Sara entered the lair and was amazed at the silence of the place; there was no television or blaring music, no sounds of a work out coming from the dojo. If anything there was a deep and deafening silence that filled their home.

Sara headed into the living room and saw Karena sitting beside Raph, she was holding one of his hands in hers, but Raph seemed to be miles away by now. She winced inwardly as she saw the blank, stunned look in his eyes.

" Karena let me take over, I'm sure you have your own to see to" Sara remarked briskly as she strode forward, " Thanks for keeping him here."

" Ha, you know as well as I do he only stayed here because he couldn't leave Sara" Karena replied as she took a deep steadying breath, she sniffed a bit and dabbed at her reddened eyes with a tissue.

Still Karena rose and decided to check on the others, she had yet to see any of them emerge from Splinter's room, though with them all being ninja they could have slipped out silently and no one would know the difference, especially as she had been preoccupied with her brother in law.

So she headed down the hall towards Splinter's bedroom leaving Sara to deal with her own mate.

Sara, glanced tenderly at Raph, " Hard day at the office huh?" she murmured, " I feel for you Raph. I really do hon." She murmured tenderly.

Raph slowly raised his head he swallowed hard and gave her a blank look as if he didn't even know who she was. A sneer crossed his face and his hands clenched into tight fists.

Sara nodded as if she understood " You spent all your life protecting your family Raph. You would gladly give your life to save any one of them, but there was nothing you could do to save Splinter." She began softly.

He narrowed his eyes at her, his lip starting to curl slightly.

" You didn't fail Raph." Sara insisted gently.

" I couldn't stay…I couldn't …" Raph choked out.

" You cared for him, you loved him. The hardest thing to do is to be with one you love when they die" Sara stated as she reached out to rest one hand on Raph's leg the other hand reached for one of his. " You have never had to lose anyone you loved so much until now. As the executioner your anger and your desire to protect those you love assist you in doing the heinous task." Sara pointed out, " But to sit by and watch someone you care about pass from life to death, and know that there is nothing in the world you can do to prevent it is something else Raphael."

" The others could stay, even Mike" Raph muttered.

" That doesn't mean they loved him more or you loved him less" Sara insisted firmly as she reached out to touch her husband's face, " Splinter knew how you felt about him. He knew all of you loved him."

" If that was true he should have stayed," Raph snarled suddenly.

Sara shook her head " Is that what you wanted, seeing the once, proud noble person who was your father reduced to a skeleton of his former self? You wouldn't be that cruel to him, as to place your own needs above his?" Sara declared she smiled, " Look you aren't alone Raph. It hurts and it isn't easy but it will get better, I promise."

Raph glanced away as he pulled a sai from his belt, staring at the television, which was as blank and empty as his heart felt.

Sara sighed. " Don has enough to do without having to fix another television Raphael" She informed him, " Besides it won't make anything better and it won't change anything."

" What do you want, fer me ta count ma blessins?" Raph wondered.

" Well it might be better then damaging items, besides you are far too old to be having temper tantrums, even Kaida has out grown hers." Sara replied.

" Wait till her teens I'm sure they'll re-emerge" Raph retorted sharply. He positioned the weapon for throwing.

Sara shifted getting between the sai and the television "**No!"** she ordered. " If you want to fight or spar. Or throw things for the sake of working out that rage that is all fine but you are going set an example for your daughters." Sara commanded.

" All right" Raph relented reluctantly, as he tucked his sai away.

" Good, now lets go talk privately huh?" Sara coaxed hoping to get him away from any object he might want to destroy just for the simple sake of doing so.

Raph rose to his feet and took her hand, she smiled inwardly with relief, and then moving at the lightning quick speed the ninja were known for, Raph sent a sai flying into the television.

She gave her mate a hard stony stare, and forced herself to swallow the angry words that threatened to spew from her mouth, about his childish attitude and behaviour among other things. However she knew such words would not be well received, so instead she just smirked and asked, " Feel any better?" in a cynical tone.

Raph gave a tentative smile " Actually I do."

….

Karena tapped lightly on Splinter's door and heard a strange husky tone inform her to come in.

She slipped silently into the darkened room, noting that Don, Mike and Rama were no longer there, but Leo sat in the shadows of the room, only a single candle burned to cast a dim light, staring at the still form in the bed as if willing it to rise up and talk.

Karena gazed at the still, huddled form. The eyes were still open but there was no light in the cloudy orbs; that had once been dark. She reached her hand over and touched the eyes closing the lids, the body was still warm, but anything that was once, or might have been Splinter was now gone.

She recalled how Splinter had been when she had first seen him, wise and gentle, compassionate and just starting to slow down and show his age. The stroke had taken a great deal out of the ninja Master, he who had some problems recalling certain things due to senility, could no longer speak or think as he once had after the stroke. He hardly ate anything and his fur coat had grown thin and grey. There were great patches where there was no hair at all.

_' For the first time in ages, he looks at peace'_ Karena mused softly, _' Now if only the rest of us can find the peace we need to move on.'_

Leo turned to look at his wife he sighed a bit and shook his head. " I know I should be doing something but…"

" When you are ready Leo. I know he meant a great deal to you." Karena spoke in a low voice just above a whisper. " He was far more then a father, to all of you, for so many years, but I know you were extremely close to him."

" It couldn't be helped for years, I was trained by him to be the leader, to be jonin in his place. I learned to be a rock for my brothers, but I could tell _him_ almost anything about my fears, my doubts. He was always able to help me. Now I am …" Leo paused and bowed his head, " Not exactly alone, I know I have my family, and thank gods I have you Karena" Leo continued, " But it has all changed now too."

Karena nodded agreement as she moved over to rest her hands on her husband's shoulders beginning to massage them " Before every one knew they had the old Jonin to help, even if his mind wasn't quite up to the task they still had him, they could believe life could go on like that. Now it is all in your hands Leo."

Leo gave a grim reflective smile " I don't know if I am up to it."

Karena nodded " Have faith in yourself Leo." She replied, " After all you have done the leading for years and haven't let any of your family down. He trained you too well, but there is one thing you need to do Leo."

Leo gave her a blank look not understanding her.

" You need to let yourself have release too, only by doing so can you then move on." Karena urged.

" I can't it's not there." Leo insisted.

" It is you just don't want to let it go, and you have to Leo." Karena corrected. She knew she might have to dredge it from him and if it became necessary she would, right now he was in shock. Still she decided to try for she felt it wasn't that far from the surface, she knew when her husband was holding back.

Also Karena was aware that Leo, her husband would not cry in front of his brothers, not yet for he had been taught to be strong for them, but she did not need his strength, at least not in this instance or in this way.

" What do you think, is your favourite memory of him?" She inquired sweetly, knowing such words would produce a flood of memories and that combined with the recent loss ought to be enough.

Leo looked towards her took a breath and he shook slightly, he swallowed hard.

" It's all right Leo, let it out. I know he told you all not to cry but some tears are allowed." Karena urged as she came around to hug her mate.

Leo slumped in her arms and let loose the tears he had been holding back as he almost crushed Karena up against him.

Karena did not protest his hold, only held him close and kissed him, murmuring gentle words of compassion and sincerity.

When Leo had cried himself out she smiled and gave her husband one last kiss, " You stay here until your ready. I'll make sure we have things organized."

Leo took her hand in his giving it a squeeze " Karena you have to do your own grieving, you knew him as well."

Karena sighed, " Not as well as any of you did. I'm hurting too but I hurt more for you, and your brothers." She replied honestly before slipping out the door.

Some time after Splinter's stroke, Leo had set up a plan to be put into effect, to move the entire family out to the farm, for burying the Master when the time came. Now that it had arrived all that was necessary was to make a few phone calls.

The small farm house would not hold the entire turtle family, not by any stretch of the imagination, but between the house, and the old barn their ought to be sufficient room for all of them to sleep, besides during the day the entire family spent as much time as possible outside.

…

Don stared at the blank computer screen, it was late at night and yet he could not go to bed, not yet his mind was still too full of thoughts of Splinter, his heart was still full of pain. He wasn't really concentrating on any work; his mind at the moment was useless, refusing to focus on anything but Splinter.

Jennifer had sent the few children who were awake off to the playground for a bit Abby who was by now twelve years old and nearing her thirteenth birthday all too quickly was not one to wake easily.

Jennifer was sure the child could sleep through a bomb going off.

She made some tea and headed towards the lab, where she and her husband spent a great deal of their time together working on computer programs, and discussing certain electronics.

She found Don, as she expected sitting in his computer chair twirling a pencil absently around his fingers.

She smiled tenderly as she thought of all he meant to her, and she sighed softly as she knew well the pain he was going through.

Don turned suddenly and gave an embarrassed quirk of a smile then ducked away as if not wanting to show his tear stained face, or wet bandanna, Jen found those things even more enduring.

Don was a very simple fellow, gentle and kind but so wise but a heart that was giving and fair. Yet she knew her husband could become angry or indignant, it just took a lot more to stir him up then it did Raph.

She walked over and offered him the tea " Care for some?"

" I guess, thanks." Don mumbled. " I know that it was for the best. I keep telling myself that but it doesn't seem to help."

" It will help eventually, because you know you are right. You know that Splinter is no longer hurting or suffering. You, as Splinter's doctor saw what it took from him, far more then the others did, except maybe for Leo." Jen quickly amended.

" I didn't want to see him like that Jen, but I didn't want to lose him either." Don choked up slightly and he glanced away as he fought for control, " I know it couldn't be both ways, but I wanted the chance to have it nonetheless."

" Right now that is how you feel and there is nothing wrong with it, but you can't divorce that logical part of you, the one that reminds you, that Splinter's passing was a blessing not a crime" Jen insisted. " That his death was freeing. He was old he lived his life; he enjoyed it and had so much. It was his time Don."

Don nodded he knew what his wife said was true, it echoed and resonated in him but still some part of him wanted to scream and reject it.

He reached out and took her hand, saying nothing and yet everything as he looked into her dark brown eyes. Don was grateful that he had her, it wasn't the first time he had appreciated having Jen in his life, and most definitely it wouldn't be the last. However it was a strong reminder of all she had come to mean to him at this time.

Mostly, Don knew that he didn't have to be alone now. That knowledge now was the greatest, most valuable thing for him.

He smiled " Our meeting was truly serendipitous."

Jen smiled lightly in return, " That was truly lucky for both of us."

….

Mike, Cathy and Rama had all decided tospend time in the playground where the children had gathered after being woken up.None of them were too surprised to see most of the children's sleep had been disturbed by one means or another. Children, especially young ones were highly perceptive to moods and changes in their world, and these children were of course all ninja or ninja in training, which meant their senses, were probably a little more in tune then normal. Though they were also aware that a few might have been woken up by their siblings.

Tiffany, Leo's youngest at five years was busy playing Tyler.

Kaida, Raph's youngest sat whispering with Jacob Don and Jennifer's youngest, and her sparring partner in the dojo. They were the same age though Kaida was older then Jacob by about six months.

Aiden leaned in the doorway of the playground an indifferent look on the boy's face " What does it matter, so what the Master is gone, isn't it better that way?"

Mike turned and glared hard at the boy " Look Aiden I know you didn't care for Splinter calling you Leo all the time but show some respect" Mike growled. " It wasn't exactly, like he did it to tick you off. Besides your father won't be interested in having any of your attitude boy, so curb it at least until after the funeral."

Aiden smirked a bit " Oh come on Uncle Mike, you won't do anything about it."

" Don't count on it boy" Mike warned sharply.

Aiden was about to say something but Rama walked towards him " If you do _not_ wish to respect the Master's memory at least honour and respect those who do Aiden. I am sure Kaliann would not want to hear you speak that way of _the_ Master."

Aiden bowed his head his shoulders slumped "Yeah, guess I better go talk to sis." He muttered.

" It would be nice Aiden." Rama agreed.

" Your wrong about one thing though Ramiela. My dad is _the_ Master now and I guess that means you are full chunin huh?" Aiden asked.

Rama nodded " Yes, you are right," she smirked a little, " It also means you and Kaliann must truly start working on your studies to be my second" she announced.

Aiden blanched a bit and scooted away.

Jacob looked up " Sensei Ramiela is, he really gone?" the boy wondered, he had a very human look to him, dark skin, dark hair and eyes of a human, a full human face, but he still had a shell like the rest of the hybrid children.

Rama sighed, " I'm afraid he is. But I am sure if he were here he would say that, he would never truly leave us. For we are a part of him and long as we remember him we will never truly forget him." She choked out as a single tear trickled down her cheek.

She glanced up to see her step mom talking quietly with Mike and the two of them leaving, she knew that Cathy would help her dad get over the newfound ache in his heart.

She looked at the children " Come now it is very early in the morning and I think we all could use some sleep."

Rama sniffed a bit wishing for a moment to be with Devon, to find comfort and assurance in his arms, just as she knew her father and Uncles were turning to their wives in their time of hurt.

She longed to be with Devon, but she knew her family needed her right now, so she couldn't leave. Still perhaps when this was all over she could escape to the freedom of Devon's world where she could relax and enjoy her life for a time.

She could show Devon how to teleport and then they could often be together, right now with so much topsy turvy in her world she needed to know that something would work out the way it should.

So her thoughts and mind was on Devon, if only so she wouldn't have to think of what she had lost here and now.

TBC

**Lunar Ninja:** I said I posses I didn't say I owned. Perhaps it is the other way around and they possess me. We all have a little bad guy in all of us, that is how we can torture the good guys so. A gratitude for your insight.

**Chibi Rose Angel:** Ah well maybe another time I will have you crying after all the angst roller coaster isn't over yet. A gratitude for your insight.

**Gemdrive:** For someone who is speechless you at least are not at a loss for words. Thanks ever so much for your kind words. Seem you remember how to review remarkably well. A gratitude for your insight.

**Reinbeauchaser:** Wow! A novel of a review that one. It is one thing killing someone who has tried to hurt those you love, it is another to do nothing while one you love passes. I have heard many stories of people who have passed moments after seeing someone they wished to see, as if they hold out for that one thing. As for Karena her confidence comes from the fact she knows Raph won't hurt her, he has far too much respect for her. Yes I did shed a few tears in writing it. A gratitude for your insight.

**Jessiy:** Yes it will be hard on the family. I refuse to tell who the second one is or how it happens. It would spoil all my fun! A gratitude for your insight.

**Digimon Girl:** Glad to hear you enjoyed it so. A gratitude for your insight.

**Pretender Fanatic:** Moving moments like plot bunnies need to be caught while you can, otherwise they get away. Having wives and children are going help the boys to some extent. A gratitude for your insight.

**Rat Queen Valarian: **You know your movies well. I have heard rumours there will be a new turtle movie in 2007 or something like that. A gratitude for your insight.

**Lenni: **Oh thank you! I haven't been called evil for a long time. I won't say it is Raph, but on the other hand I won't say that it isn't Raph. Only time will tell. A gratitude for your insight.


	4. Chapter 2: Talking about

Time to say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Author's Note: We have been having some trouble with our computer recently, so if you don't hear from me for awhile it may be that our computer is broken and I can not update or e-mail. My brother is going be working on it so cross your fingers, and hope for the best. Course I might update on my vacation too but I can't promise that either, depends on computer availability. Ramica

Chapter Three: Talking about

Cathy waited for awhile, she knew her husband well enough, to know that it would take some time for the full effect to hit him, the fact he had spent time playing with the children in the playground, was a clear sign of Mike trying to avoid the hurt and pain he was presently feeling.

Mike she knew was optimistic, cheerful and easy going. He lived truly for and in the moment. Yet when it came to things that bothered or irked him it took awhile for him to come clean or unload his thoughts.

Cathy smiled as she realized Ramiela, her step daughter, was very much like that herself, when something bothered the girl you practically had to pull it out of her; While she did her best to hide behind her sarcasm and playful ways. Trying her best to stay one step ahead of what was the issue.

Cathy recalled first coming here and Rama's sudden change of attitude, which had included a plan of attack when she had gotten closer to Rama's father. The practical jokes the girl had unleashed had been creative, and irksome to say the least. Cathy had to give her that, but it helped to hide what the young teenager was truly going through. She was trying desperately to recover from being treated like an animal in the lab, and Cathy had been only a reminder of the cruelty the scientist had forced on this intelligent being. That plus Rama was afraid of being hunted and caught all over again, had done little to set her mind at ease, and so war was waged because the girl could not come clean with the true seat of the problem.

Luckily the girl had changed a bit over the years, but it was still difficult to figure out what was going on in Ramiela's mind at the best of times.

She made a mental note to check with Ramiela later on how she was coping, for the girl had been very close to her grandfather.

Cathy knew she had to wait for Mike to be ready, pushing for it before might only make him deny or run from what he was feeling. However Mike's sudden anger towards Aiden, told Cathy that he was probably close to ready to vent.

As she lead Mike off into the lair listening to him grumble about the nerve of Aiden.

" I ought to chuck that boy out of his shell, or beat some sense into him." Mike growled.

" We all deal with grief in our way Mike" Cathy murmured, as she slipped an arm behind his carapace. " Just because Aiden can talk like that, doesn't mean anything. Perhaps it hasn't hit him yet. Rama handled him quite well, probably better then you would have."

Mike made a soft scoffing noise " Part of Rama's job is dealing with those under her and keeping them in their place, as needed."

" Yes, while she has been acting as chunin for a while, now she will feel the full weight of it." Cathy agreed, " But she will need it for when the time and day comes for her to be jonin."

Cathy stopped and Mike turned to look at her, she reached out a hand to caress his face. " Splinter's memory will live on, you know that Mike." She assured him, she knew it was true for even as she said it she could easily recall her first meeting with the aged rat, he had still been jonin of the clan then and cut an imposing figure in spite of his small stature.

Mike bowed his head suddenly as he bit his bottom lip. He looked back and Cathy could see the tears welling up in his green eyes, "I just find it so hard to believe. He was always here. I know he told us often enough, that he wouldn't be here with us, that he would die." Mike paused and took a deep breath, " But I didn't want to think what it would mean, to not have him. Didn't want to think of what was to come. I mean he was here and he had always been here." Mike shook his head as he gave her an imploring stare.

" There was no need to worry about it until the time came. Splinter told you that, to prepare you all."

" Yeah but Cathy, there is no possible way for us to ever be prepared." Mike complained, " At least not for something like this. Even now I can't believe and I don't want to believe that he is gone."

" You can't deny it forever though Mike." Cathy murmured.

" I can try" Mike responded flatly.

Cathy shook her head, " It won't help Mike. You might be able to do it until the funeral, but that is the time that closure often happens. It is when people fully accept their loved one is gone and then they can move on." Cathy explained.

" Move on?" Mike wondered giving her a blank stare, as if silently questioning where he was to move on to, or why he even had to.

" Of course. Splinter lived a very full life Mike. Far longer then expected, I mean a normal rat's life expectancy sure can't measure up to what Splinter had." Cathy pointed out.

Mike gave a little chuckle " Quit being an animal behaviourist will ya?" he mock scolded.

" Can't help it" Cathy returned, " It is my job. That would be like you giving up ninjitsu," she pointed out.

" I know we were lucky to have him as long as we did. Sometimes though I had a feeling he was holding on just so he could help in Rama's training." Mike agreed, " He really seemed to go down hill after he stopped assisting in her training, when Leo asked him to step down."

" It is possible Mike, but then again it could have been just his great age catching up to him. No doubt his lifestyle of meditation and healthy eating helped to age him as well as it had." Cathy looked at Mike she took his hand in hers. " Do you just want to talk Mike?"

Mike sighed as he glanced away " I really need to put things into perspective and I need to get away for a bit."

" Hmm, well why don't we take a walk and talk a little, do you think that will help?" Cathy suggested.

" It might. Sure can't hurt." Mike muttered.

Cathy nodded " Lets go for a walk in the park then."

Mike smiled at his wife and hugged her "If we ever have another son Cathy, think we could name him Yoshi?"

" In honour of Splinter's Master of course. I can't promise we will have another child though." She agreed.

Mike gave a small quirk of an eye ridge " Ah, but it could be arranged."

Cathy chuckled a little knowing that Mike was only slightly joking once again hiding his pain and hurt behind his little jokes. When Mike suddenly enfolded her into his arms and she could feel the slight shaking frame she knew, even better how much he was hurting.

She gave him a gentle and sympathetic kiss. "Come on Mike" she urged.

They spent a long time walking and talking, sometimes crying though sometimes it was Cathy, herself who cried and other times it was Mike.

Before they returned home and to bed, Mike snuggled up close to his wife holding her close as if afraid to let her go.

…

Aiden tapped on Kaliann's door " Kali" he called softly.

Kali didn't answer but Aiden reached out and felt his twin sister's pain, he had always been closely connected to Kali. The bond between twins often provided a psychic link, in fact he had learned about such things in school with Uncle Donatello. Tales of twins separated at birth who lead very similar lives, and even how twins who remained together in the same family seeming to know when the other was in trouble.

Aiden cared for his sister deeply, he would gladly do anything to protect her, and he knew Kali often did a great deal in keeping his secrets hidden. She would also hold him back from his more foolish stunts.

Aiden recalled that Splinter had nick named them Yin and Yang. He personally didn't mind being called that name, for he knew it was true. Separate they were individual beings, but they were also made to complete each other. Aiden was also the only one privy to the fact Kali had a boyfriend. Aiden was quite willing to maintain his sister's secret unless the guy tried to hurt her, then the creep would have to deal with him, because Aiden planned on ninja justice on anyone who hurt his sister.

Aiden entered the bedroom to find Kali sobbing into her pillow she looked up and wiped at the tears, that were fresh on her face, and sniffed loudly, her breath hitched as she tried to control her sobs.

" Kali, it ain't that bad" Aiden began trying to reassure her.

" It is, Master Splinter is gone." She moaned hanging her head." I know you didn't like him calling you by dad's name but he did tell the best stories and…" Kali gasped shaking her head unable to continue.

Aiden nodded " He did. Sometimes his stories about dad, how he acted when he was younger, made me realize I'm not so different from dad." Aiden murmured. " I just don't want to be like dad now. I don't know why all this ninjitsu is necessary."

Kali picked up a tissue from the box on her nightstand and wiped at her eyes, " We can't just walk around freely either it isn't safe."

" Our lives aren't safe sis" Aiden corrected, " No matter what we do so what is the difference. The larger the family grows the more chance there is of us being found out. Why not just get it over with?"

" We have to be careful, go forward quickly but with much caution" Kali replied using one of Splinter's favourite sayings, then she grimaced, as if she realized suddenly what she had said and where it had come from. Her body shook and she took a deep breath trying to gain control.

Aiden put an arm around his sister, " Yeah he made a lot of sense. Not so much now. In his later years I mean, but he did come up with better advice then any of dad's lectures held." Aiden allowed, " But his riddles were a bit bothersome."

" He wanted us to come up with our own decisions because he knew those who ask for advice often have all ready made up their minds. Besides I think Rama agrees and is trying to push for such things." Kali scowled slightly, " You haven't been listening to her have you Aiden?"

" Naw, just thinking about the alternate world she was on and how the mutants there had a better life and maybe it is possible for us too." Aiden answered.

" Remember Splinter teaching us chess and wei-chi?" Kali asked reflectively

Aiden nodded. " Yeah it was kind of fun, playing and listening to his stories while he taught us and we nibbled on cookies Uncle Mike had made." Aiden bowed his head, and then looked up " It was his time Kali, and you know I'd rather think of the Master the way he was when we were younger then, the way he happened to be recently. I can't help but think he is out of his suffering now. Summer is almost over and well fall is coming on."

Kali sighed, " The winter's were always harsh on him." She concluded, "The cold and damp hurting his bones and joints so."

" Uncle Don couldn't even do much for him Kali. So, perhaps this is for the best." Aiden suggested simply.

" Maybe it is Aiden" Kali mumbled dejectedly. " But don't you feel a little sad, don't you just want to cry too?"

Aiden gave a small smile, " He told us to honour his memory when he was gone and not to shed tears because he had lived a full and happy life. I mean to honour that. No matter what it takes." He retorted.

Kali grinned, " I knew that he meant something to you too." She beamed.

" Course he did Kali" Aiden permitted, " he was my granddad too."

Kali gave a trembling smile and as the tears again welled in her eyes she thought that she saw Aiden quickly blink his eyes and take a deep breath to calm himself fighting to hold back his own tears.

Silently she assured her brother, because she knew if she spoke it aloud it would only make him more stubborn, that it was all right to shed a few tears. Master Splinter would understand and he would still be honouring the Master.

…

Leo slipped into his bed, and nestled close to Karena's body, doing his best not to disturb her sleep. Karena turned to face him.

" You haven't been staying awake have you?" He chided gently, in a soft voice.

" Not really staying awake, but after all these years of being around you ninja I think some of your skills are wearing off," She teased, " I wanted to know you were okay and I guess a part of me let me know you were here." She reached out and rested a hand on his plastron.

" I am all right. As well as can be expected I suppose." Leo answered, " How about you?"

" I don't know just kind of numb I guess." Karena replied, as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Leo caressed her face, smiled slightly in acknowledgement " I know what you mean. I meditated for a bit but now I just feel, empty." He concluded with a bit of a sigh.

" I have things arranged, April and Casey will have our transport here in the morning." Karena informed Leo.

" Good, what a way to move us all, two very large RV's." Leo sighed, " But for our family we need some means of moving us all and not get too much exposure at the same time. So it just made sense."

" True and they can also double for extra sleeping space for those who can't get in the house and don't care to sleep in the barn" Karena agreed. " By the way Leo how did things go with Ramiela tonight and those jumps?"

" Very well, better then I expected. It is possible to do a series of jumps, but I wouldn't want to do too much of it and I think it might be best to restrict the jumps to just short ones and for emergency purposes." Leo answered.

Karena scowled, " But if it went well Leo," she gave him a concerned puzzled look, " Why not allow it?" she concluded.

" Karena it is an extremely dangerous mode of travel, over long distances it seems to have adverse effects on the body. I don't even know how safe it is over short distances" Leo explained, " Just because one can do a series of short jumps doesn't mean that it is wise to do so."

" Leo I thought you were interested in this?" Karena inquired sceptically.

Leo nodded, " I am but I also realized something tonight Karena. We all sensed Splinter needed us, and Ramiela just disappeared to appear here. She could have ended up somewhere else." There was the slightest hint of fear in Leo's voice, " We can't afford to lose her. She is needed here now more than ever. For all I knew when she vanished she could have ended up in another alternate world, or on some place that is far too dangerous, an atmosphere that couldn't support our life, or end up floating in space for all we know." Leo paused and shook his head, " We can't risk it Karena, when a family member is stuck between certain death and teleporting fine but I can't permit it under any other circumstances."

" Rama isn't going to like that Leo, you know part of the reason she has been working for this is the hopes of returning to that other world." Karena stated.

" I know, but she will find a person closer to home to love and be with. She could never fully be with Devon anyways." Leo replied, " I hate doing it to her too, but against the alternatives I don't have much of a choice. She is needed here she can't be with him, not full time."

Karena nodded understanding " I know that, but it won't be easy telling her, and now may not be the right time either Leo."

" I know." Leo admitted, " But if I don't tell her soon that it can't be permitted she may just decide to go off and try it." Leo gave a little chuckle, " I don't even know if she could go there again. She admits she hasn't been able to connect with that boy since the Valentine evening with him."

" Your saying it might take more then that Leo?"

" Possibly Karena, after all there was a lightning storm when she vanished from this universe to that one, a large explosion helped bring her home. Perhaps these things acted as an accelerant to her travel, helping her cross the vast distance."

" If that is the case the only way Rama could return to him is by putting her very life at risk and in danger" Karena gasped.

" Yes, I know we do that almost every day to some extent, but those situations we know we can handle. Ramiela has no way of knowing if such a circumstances will speed her to where she wants to be, send her someplace else, or kill her." Leo stated, " For these reasons I can't allow it, for her safety, and whether she likes it or not, I can't permit her using these skills to try and reach Devon."

Karena sighed at the finality of Leo's words. She understood his decision and accepted it, for she would hate to lose the young chunin, Rama was a very important member of their clan. She was needed at home and the family had been devastated when she had disappeared to that alternate world.

Still Karena knew without a doubt that Rama would not be pleased to learn that the boy she loved so very much, could no longer be a part of her life, that she had to give him up without even a chance to say farewell, or explain things to him.

Karena also couldn't help but wonder how she would have handled it if she had been told she couldn't have the man she loved. She hugged her mate a little closer and felt a sympathetic pain for Rama.

She knew Leo was right, but she also knew that it wouldn't be easy for the chunin of the clan to accept, for in all purposes she was now going to lose not one person she loved but two.

TBC

**Pretender Fanatic: **Aiden, is his own person, don't let his actions fool you. He might not reveal everything on the outside. Meanwhile Raph has to be who he is and since he isn't going out to bust heads the TV had to be sacrificed. A gratitude for your insight.

**Jessiy:** The old Raph might have done just that but Sara does manage to help Raph to some extent. You are also very correct where Rama is getting her strength at the moment but it looks as if Leo might throw a monkey wrench into the works. A gratitude for your insight.

**Digimon Girl:** So good to hear. Hope you enjoy the latest chapter. A gratitude for your insight.

**Lenni:** I love driving people nuts. I'm a lot like Mike that way. But I do admit to a sarcastic wit as well. A gratitude for your insight.

**Pacphys:** Well someone in the family must maintain a level head. Holding things in tends to be bad they often tend to explode. I loved your line about head and heart it is so true. A gratitude for your insight.

**Chibi Rose Angel:** Oh yes Sassy's drowning very deep and so utterly hopeless and very sad. I doubt this story will get super angsty I think the worst is over but don't quote me on that. A gratitude for your insight.

**Reinbeauchaser:** I was hoping to cause a chuckle with Raph offing the TV. Ease the tension a little. Yes, I really didn't know what to do with Mike at that point, as I wanted each of the boys at different areas. I'm still not sure that I have Mike different at least I tried. As for Aiden I seem to recall in Gaele that Devon's reaction to Splinter's death was …life goes on attitude. A gratitude for your insight.

**Lunar Ninja:** Oh a suspicious dragon girl. Can't have that. Good keep your suspicions to yourself and don't tell because you might spoil the fun. A gratitude for your insight.


	5. Chapter 4: Regrets

Time to Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Author's Note: Well my brother, the Donatello in our family seems to have vastly improved some of the problems with our computer, but we still need to get a new one. Hopefully won't be too long of a wait either. In the meantime I will try to bring you this chapter. Ramica

Chapter Four: Regrets.

Rama only slept an hour or two, she knew if things went as planned April and Casey ought to be arriving with the transports soon so the family could leave before the roads in the city got too busy.

She went into the kitchen to make coffee for the adults, breakfast would be simple and quick, they'd pick up doughnuts or something on the way out of New York, suddenly Rama thought she heard the front door closing, the sound was soft but unmistakable and she went to check on who was sneaking in or out of the lair, the entire family had to be here when the time came to leave.

She saw Kali slipping off towards the bedrooms and cleared her throat " Just where were you?" Rama whispered.

Kali jumped around and saw her older cousin; she grimaced and shifted nervously from foot to foot as she tried to come up with an explanation.

Rama huffed slightly, " Kali this is **not** the time to go causing trouble by sneaking out to see your boyfriend." Rama smirked " I 'd expect your brother to sneak out" she grinned a little " but if he is meeting a boyfriend we are in big trouble."

Kali gasped, " How do you know about Mark, I…" she began.

Rama gave the girl a knowing look, " Kali I have to look out for you, all of you. Of course I know about _him._" Rama declared then gestured to the yellow rose in her hand, " I can also guess that you didn't get that for yourself."

" No I just wanted to say goodbye to him, explain we would be gone for a few days and why." Kali explained with a little shrug. " He said he wanted to see me before I left. He gave me the rose and a card."

" You shouldn't be telling outsiders too much about our moves or what we do Kali, it could lead to danger." Rama chastised the girl gently, " You know that."

" I'm suppose to just ignore Mark then, and let him worry about me Ramiela?" Kali challenged.

" No, just be careful. You know if you are serious about him you really ought to get your father's approval to date him." Rama hinted.

" Do you have your father's approval to be with Devon?" Kali shot back.

" I don't know if he totally approves, I mean Devon is a Raph child." Rama smiled and ducked her head, then in a wistful way concluded " But Splinter and your father didn't seem too concerned with it. I recall Splinter speaking so approvingly of the fact Devon was jonin as well, what a good match it was." Rama sniffed a bit. " Besides you won't be able to keep Mark from Sen…I mean Master Leonardo for much longer. With, this" Rama gestured vaguely, "Well he might not know right off."

Kali sighed miserably " What will dad think though? I know how he feels about us being too open with people from topside, but Mark is very nice and kind. He has never done anything to make me doubt him or be suspicious."

Rama smiled, " I've seen him and I have no problems with him. A quick mental probe told me he wasn't hiding anything dangerous. Plus I know you have good instincts for that kind of thing" Rama admitted, " I think it comes from keeping tabs on your unruly older brother." She gave a small smile; " Since you are up, help me get the little ones ready."

" All right, but you won't tell will you?" Kali pleaded.

" Of course not, I mean if I thought this boy was dangerous I would have told your father long ago." Rama replied.

….

Of course the family had divided up into two groups one for each RV and arrangements had been made to meet at separate locations, one RV was driven by April the other by Casey and then the two of them would come up to the farm with their three children in the van. Being old friends of the family, April and Casey also wanted to be at the funeral.

Such as it was, for it was to be no more then a simple burial out at the farm, as soon as possible upon arriving. They also planned to plant a Japanese cherry tree near the grave, for the flower of the cherry tree was called Sakura, and was the national flower of Japan.

They could not exactly take the Master to Japan to bury him there, but they could do what they could on the farm to link the two countries.

Rama felt that a fountain and bench might also be fitting and perhaps a meditative Zen garden, somewhere around there too. All of it would connect them to their roots and the country that Splinter had once come from.

For a moment she recalled the gardens of Leo's ryu in Japan perhaps the thought of the upcoming burial brought it to mind, she didn't know, but she wished she could see it again. It had been very peaceful.

Her father and uncles had never been to Japan, but Rama did hope that one day her entire family could travel to Japan to see the beauty of it. Do it as a pilgrimage, or homage to the old Master.

Thinking about Japan and the other Leo's ryu, caused Rama to recall her special katanas, the ones with the embossed jade hilts that she had brought with her from Devon's world and she hurried to fetch them so that she could use them over the next few days for she was sure, her, Leo would have a few ceremonies to honour the ninja master and she wanted the best katanas she owned for that purpose.

So she had her ceremonial katanas with her, when she left the lair in the group that was assigned to the RV on the South side of Central Park, her group consisted of her dad, Cathy, Uncle Raph and Aunt Sara and all the little children, that meant Jacob, Kaida, Tiffany, Tyler and Tessica. Plus Aiden and Kaliann as it was up to the two fourteen year olds and Rama to keep track and amuse the little ones over the long trip.

Leo, Karena, Don and Jen with the older children and Splinter's body would be going in the other RV on the east side of Central Park.

Travelling in the RV with the shades drawn, the little children quickly grew bored, and antsy to get out to the farm, nor did they care to be told to leave the shades down and stop peeking under or around them.

Normally the farm was a fun place and while the younger children were looking forward to being there, especially as the entire family would be there for a change, the children's mood was a bit sombre as if they realized, that this time, the farm would not be fun and games for all of them.

April had put in a few board games and card games into the RV, plus there was a television and DVD player which, helped matters.

For lunch Rama prepared sandwiches and juice while sitting at the table then passed them around to all who wanted the refreshments.

Still it was a very long trip, and everyone was pleased to see the old farm come into sight, scrambling out of the two RV's to gaze up at the warm sun overhead, somehow it seemed so wrong to have the bright orb there.

Leo looked at his brothers, then all the wives, " Why don't you girls go work on the house. We'll" he gestured to his brothers, " Find a suitable spot for the internment."

Cathy nodded, " Good idea." She mumbled, knowing full well that finding a spot also meant long gritty work for the boys.

Rama looked towards her uncles, " Could I please, come. I think I rather help you then houseclean." She pleaded gently.

Leo smiled, " If you want to Ramiela."

She nodded " I do thanks."

Kali shook her head, " I'd rather houseclean or watch the kids." She muttered to her brother.

Aiden nodded in silent agreement.

…

The family walked in silence the loss of the Master, and the coming deed affecting each of them in their own way. No one felt willing to break in, or disturb another's thoughts, yet at the same time none of them seemed to be reaching out to the others either.

Rama wanted to respect that silence, yet a part of her hated it, because it seemed to be pushing them apart, making all of them stray on their own paths. They were all family and as such she felt they ought to be able to give voice or something to what they were feeling. Give voice to it and let it go, but they were all so trapped within their own hurt and pain they didn't seem to want to reach out or help another.

Grief was painful, it weighed a person down, but a grief that was shared could make it less troublesome.

She silently debated the pros and cons of speaking her thoughts aloud, as if by doing so, she would break some unspoken rule.

Finally, as she followed after Leo, behind the farmhouse and into the grassy meadow, that may have been home to a few cows long before Rama was born or even thought of for that matter, she found herself talking.

" It hurts not having Master Splinter, it hurts thinking about him. It just aches and gnaws at me. I remember when I was over in the other world, I wanted to see Splinter I was hoping, he would be able to tell me how I could get back home." She stated casually, pulling some seeds off a long stalk of grass. " I didn't stop to think with the turtles there being so much older that he would be gone. Before the Leo of that world, told me what happened, I sort of realized the truth."

Leo turned to look at his niece listening carefully.

" Then, when I felt that Don had died it hit me that I really didn't know him at all. My own Uncle, at that point was really, in many ways was a stranger to me, because we always seemed so at odds with one another." Rama admitted.

Don came up and draped an arm around the girl's shoulder giving her a one armed hug. She looked up at him.

" I don't know if I ever told you, but I am sorry for the way I acted as a kid. I just wanted you to lighten up and have some fun. To play with me but you took things so seriously. Course it is the way you are. If you hadn't changed by now" Rama sighed, " Then I guess you never will. I wanted to meet you on my terms in my way. It wasn't to be. For you had something far more valuable to give me. Thanks for doing so, and for sticking to it even when I made things so difficult."

Don smiled at her " I'm just glad we have reached an understanding in the past year Ramiela."

" If we had it years ago though we might know each other better, or never had the difficulties to begin with." Rama pointed out.

Leo nodded " True, but life is for learning not regretting what has been. Life is forever changing and moving on" he insisted. " We must move with it or lose step."

Silently he hoped she would accept these words now for he knew when the time came to tell her his decision she would not take it well. He knew that, simply because he was very aware of his chunin's talents, and skills. As well as her faults and behaviours, he knew she was likely to fight and resist his command on this matter.

Leo was fully aware of how easy it was for Ramiela to react over acting it was something she was getting better at doing as she matured, and her time on the time she spent on that alternate world had done wonders, but there were still times when she would seem to forget. _' Old habits.'_ Leo mused, _' truly do die hard.'_

Leo was willing to put off letting Rama know his decision now, but tomorrow after the funeral perhaps in the evening, he would let her know that she was not to use her teleporting skills to see Devon.

Raph glanced around, " How about near the forest and the stream, Leo?"

" You mean the spot, close to where he used to meditate?" Leo asked.

" Yeah. He spent a lot of time there I just thought it …" Raph paused shrugging and lapsing into silence.

" It will be fitting, and as good as spot as any." Leo agreed as they turned almost as one heading in the direction of the trees and the small stream, where Splinter had spend so many hours deep in thought.

Mike trudged quietly behind his other brothers, he didn't want to be a part of the whole grave digging process, and he didn't want to think of his Master, his father, in the cold hard ground. Their mentor deserved something better.

Personally the thought of the things in the ground that might end up aiding in their Master's final and true end was disturbing. So Mike only half listened as he tried to brace himself to help in the task he all ready detested.  
To Mike's mind and way of thinking nothing could make this part any better or easier for that matter.

Raph glanced over his shoulder at Rama and Don, while he had always been Rama' favourite uncle, he had a feeling that Don was no longer the bottom of the rung. " Why all this talk about that other place now Ramiela?" he wondered aloud.

" Maybe because it was there that I learned the time to appreciate who you have and what you have is while you still have those things or people around, you know. Then you don't have to regret it so much" Rama spoke hesitantly. " I knew when I came back home it was so good to see Uncle Donatello and Splinter. I didn't know what time I might have left, but I didn't want to throw it away either" she finished meekly as she turned away, to wipe a stray tear from her eyes.

" That is a good lesson to learn Rama" Mike admitted as they came to the spot, he blanched a little, looking nervously about.

Leo sidled over to him to rest a reassuring hand on Mike's shoulder. " He was our father Mike, we have the right to lay him at peace, in a place that is fitting to him."

Mike mumbled something in reply but Leo hadn't heard the words, he wondered if he ought to take Mike aside and talk to him, or as they had the night before let Mike go, for Leo knew there were limits, and certain things that he could not ask of his brothers.

Of course while he couldn't ask them, Leo also felt it would be wrong for him to shirk the deed. He would not ask the others to do a task that he could not do, so many times through the years, Leo had done things, not because he truly wanted to but as a means of showing the way to the others.

Raph looked over and then gestured to Don whispering something to his brother.

" Leo, we might as well work in shifts, why don't you, Ramiela and I start?" Don suggested.

Rama gave a weak grin and trembled, " Sounds like a plan."

Leo smiled a bit at Ramiela's response he knew she didn't want to be there and yet she was determined to see it through and help. She would in her time be a good leader, just for that alone. " All right." He agreed.

…

Raph and Mike headed off into the woods, " What's the matter Mike?"

" I wish we didn't have to bury him, like that, you know?" Mike muttered as he gestured vaguely back the way they had come, " I mean you bury an animal in the ground with not much preliminaries or fuss. That is okay but this is" Mike paused shaking his head, " Is our father he deserves more then to just be put into a hole and the dirt covering him. He should have a coffin or something, else." Mike insisted flustered.

Raph nodded, " I agree Mike. He does deserve better, but we can't afford a coffin, that is why we bought the cherry tree." Raph reminded his brother. " So it wouldn't seem so, cold."

" I know. It just seems so wrong Raph!" Mike yelled in sudden frustration, " I've never regretted what I am until now. For once I want to be treated like a human so our master, our father can be laid to rest like one." There was a bitter longing tone to Mike's words that Raph fully recognized.

Raph sighed he though of his own failure, from the other night, true his wife hadn't considered it failure on his part, but he felt that way, even now. It seemed so often in his youth he had felt a failure before his father.

That he could never be everything Splinter had expected or hoped, and yet his father had never rejected him. Due to that Raph fully sympathised with Mike's declaration, that Splinter deserved better then being buried without any thing else.

" You know Mike we might be able to do something about that." Raph suggested, " There is an old pile of lumber in the barn, if we can haul it and some other stuff down here later, maybe we can fix something up." Raph hinted, " We ought to be far enough away from the house and barn so it won't disturb any one while they sleep."

Mike grinned a bit it was a small weak grin, but it was a grin nonetheless " You and I aren't known for fixing or building things."

" No but we can do it Mike. If you want, I mean, together we ought to be able to make a suitable coffin, maybe not the greatest but it will be better then nothing." Raphael concluded, _' I might have regrets about the way I acted all these years, but I refuse to regret giving a final gift to my father, cause damn, he deserves it!'_ Raph told himself ruefully.

Mike nodded " You promise Raph?"

" Yeah and just think of what the family will say, though we might have to adjust the hole a bit too." Raph warned.

"I'm game Raph." Mike stated firmly. " Tonight we do it!"

Raph clasped Mike's hand in his as they sealed the agreement; they had but one night to do it, for come morning Splinter would be buried.

TBC

**Mikaela's Spade:** Too tenacious of a writer at times. Elegantly sad, very fitting for this story with its angst on top of angst. A gratitude for your insight.

**Digimon Girl:** So glad you enjoyed it. A gratitude for your insight.

**Chibi Rose Angel:** My sounds very touching that part in the anime. As for Rama's fit well stay tuned for that it is coming like a dark cloud brings the rain. A gratitude for your insight.

**Pretender Fanatic:** Glad that you and I share that theory, when I put it in I didn't know if anyone would understand it. However I have long maintained that, that is precisely why Splinter speaks the way he does. As for Rama who knows what she will do or when. A gratitude for your insight.

**Lunar Ninja:** No I won't try ousting you I have seen some of the things you, Chibi and who is it Pretender? Have going on with meadows and dungeons and the like. However when I leave on vacation I just might send Rama to live with you. **Rama: **Just try it Ramica. I get to go on your vacation. I know you are planning to go to the big fair.** Me:** There is no way to keep a secret from that impossible child. A gratitude for your insight.

**Reinbeauchaser:** You think Leo will be protective, hmm possible he is a father and some fathers can get very protective of their little princesses. Personally I pity Leo far more as he is going have to deal with an upset Rama. Well here is one more chapter and I am hoping to get at least two more up before I go on vacation. A gratitude for your insight


	6. Chapter 5: Saying goodbye

Time To Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Author's Note: We got our new computer people and the important stuff is hooked up. In other words I have internet and can recieve e-mails. I can also write stories. Due to a rumor aboutcommenting on reviews I will send my comments to you individually through e-mail. That plus being on a new computer I wasn't quite sure what I was using would work as we don't have mircosoft wordinstalled on this one.Ramica.

Chapter Five: Saying Goodbye

While Don was known for his technical genius and ability to fix or invent just about anything electronic, he didn't often go into working with things that didn't involve some sort of wires, or plug in. It wasn't that Don wasn't good with his hands, he could probably use his know how in many areas but he prefered the aspects that involved technology.

Raph on the other hand preferred getting his hands dirty, he enjoyed repairing cars, or working with his hands, in fact in his youth, long before Raph had gotten so mixed up in thumping on hoods, or bemoaning his outcast state, he would often find peace in making stuff out of wood, it wasn't all that fancy but considering their lifesstyle anything was better then nothing, and on top of that was the fact the stuff he made from scraps of wood or what have you did serve a purpose and was useful. It was only as Raph got older that he drifted away from it.

Mike kept his creativity to other things such as writing and cooking. He also loved to paint, Mike was the artistic one of the group. He could decorate a cake or cook up meals that would be the envy, and demand, of any gourmand in the world.

So Raph had no qualms what so ever about them being able to fix up a serivceable coffin for their father's funeral come the morning, though he knew it might take them a good part of the night to build, it would be more then worth it, and it wouldn't be the first, nor the last time, either he or one of his brothers pulled an all nighter.

The problem was trying to do it and keep it a secret from the rest of the family.

Karena scowled as she watched Cathy trying to ease Tessica down for a nap, the infant was fighting it, determined to stay awake, if only to see everything that was going on around her.

Karena bowed her head recalling her own children and how similar they had been, she gave a wistful sigh and felt a bit of an ache that she had decided not to have any more children, perhaps she might change her mind, her and Leo could possibly have another, then she chuckled inwardly at that thought, _' No,'_ she mused, _' Now is truly not the time for even contemplating such things, we have enough children.' _

Cathy looked up " She is a fussy one, I'm starting to wonder if it is just all the tension in the air or if she is possibly cutting her molars." she announced as she carried Tessica over to a rocking chair.

Karena paused watching the tableau before her reflectivley as she silently debated about telling Cathy what Leo planned regarding Rama's long term relationship. Karena had been in the family long enough that she knew not to meddle with the clan rulings, she was aware that Leo decision was final and she understood the reasonings, it was far too dangerous for Rama to try to return to that alternate universe, besides that the young chunin was desperatley needed here.

Still, there was the other side of the issue, and that was that Karena was very attached to the kunoichi, and she knew that a girl's first love was not to be crushed and trampled on so easily. Rama was deeply in love with Devon, it showed when she talked about the boy, and to suddenly be told that she could not be with him, especially at this time, though no time would be perfect, would be hard for the girl to take.

Typically Rama might be just as likley to take it out on the family, in which case Mike and Cathy really deserved to be warned, as they were likley to get the worst of it when Rama did blow at the harsh verdict.

Cathy looked up " Karena are you okay?" she asked soflty over Tessica's little fussing whimpers.

Karena walked in to the room " Cathy maybe I shouldn't be telling you this, it is more clan buisness then anything, but I feel that you have the right to know."

" Know what?" Cathy asked a little confused her face scrunched up a little in uncertainty.

Karena paused coughing a little and looked over her shoulder, as if she was looking for someone to show up suddenly and reprimand her for what she was about to say. She hesitated and wiped at a sweaty brow while biting her bottom lip before taking a deep breath, Karena realized she had started and she might as well finish it.

" Cathy, Leo plans on telling Rama that she can't use her teleporting skill to go see Devon." Karena blurted out, " He figures it is far too dangerous, and he is right the family could lose her if she tries to return to that alternate world, but Rama might not want to see it that way." Karena explained, " Not when she has been waiting so long to see him again, and now she actually seems closer to achieving it with gaining control of that ability it is going be a harsh verdict for her to come to grips with."

Cathy's scowl deepened " He couldn't wait to put this on her?"

" Cathy Leo is afraid that Rama will try to go see Devon before if he doesn't let her know ahead of time." Karena defended her mate's choice, " Besides as chunin of the clan Rama is needed here, she can't be away for extended periods of time."

" Fine but he best be delicate, I wonder Karena if it might be better for one of us to tell her over Leo. Yes I know he is the clan leader, but Rama isn't going take the news kindly and a woman's touch in breaking the news might be better accepted." Cathy summarised.

" I shouldn't have told you this" Karena pointed out, " So it isn't our place to tell her."

" Yes, but Leo has never been a young girl in love now has he? So how could he possibly relate to Ramiela and her feelings for Devon?" Cathy asked, " I know how miserable she was when she first came home. I know how she resisted and fought over the restrictions, it was her last great rebellion of her teen years." Cathy remarked, she grimaced as she recalled Rama's behaviour up until the point she had learned that Rama was not only trying to adjust, again to her life in the sewers but also missing her first love, "Personally Karena I am glad that Rama was able to move on, I think working on the teleporting helped her cling to the dream of being with him." Cathy gave a heavy sigh, " Suddenly I wish that this skill wasn't a part of ninja ability, that it could be written off as some tear in time and space or something that happens only under rare circumstances, for then Rama would have to accept that she could not return to him and move on."

Karena nodded as she reached out to caress Tessica's cheek, " I know but think of it this way, if any of the family get into serious trouble they can just wink out to the lair. It is so much safer for all of them."

Cathy pursed her lips, " True but it still isn't much of a life."

The boys and Rama returned in time for dinner, they were all dirty,sweaty and exhausted looking as if the day's digging had taken a toll on them mentally as well as physically, of course it most likley had taken a larger expense mentally then any other way for all of them were used to working out and hard physical activity. They trudged silently one behind the other.

The boys greeted their wives before heading towards the bathrooms, in the house and RVs for a quick shower before all of them gathered outside for supper.

By then the children, especially some of theyouger ones were practically falling asleep, they picked at their meals without a great deal of ethusiasm as their eyelids dropped and they gave massive yawns. The blow of Splinter's death, followed by the late night before, and the excitement of being out on the farm, plus the fresh air had caused all the children to practically collapse at the table, more then ready for a good night's sleep.

There wasn't much conversation even among the adults beyond the usual pleasantries of please pass the salad, or juice or whatever was desired. Or a bit of " That was delicious thank you."

It was decided that everyone would go to bed early for Splinter's funeral was to be at sunrise in the morning before breakfast though of course the little children under the age of ten were entitled to have something to eat to save off starvation as it were.

The next morning the family gathered outside the farm house to proceed to the burial site, they lined up according to rank, which meant that Leo lead the way, carrying Splinter's body wrapped up in a blanket, followed by Rama, Don, followed by Raph, and Mike who were carrying the tree, Kaliann and Aiden, and the rest of the family came after, clustered in a large group. It was totally silent even Tessica was still as could be cuddled up in Cathy's arms.

As they neared the grave, Leo suddenly seemed taken by surprise as he saw the coffin sitting by the hole, but he gave a faint smile and looked over his shoulder towards Don. Don gave a subtle shrug and a slow shake of his head in denial and turned to look at his other two brothers who only smiled.

" Raph and I did it last night Leo" Mike admitted in a low whisper.

Don grinned, " It was just what we needed. I don't know why we didn't think of it" he murmured.

The coffin was made out of odd scraps of wood, and so there was many types of wood in the simple structure, yet each piece of wood was made to fit nicely to the other, a coat of varnish had completed the box.There were hinges on the lid, and four hand holds two one either side, and Raph had done an engraved carving on the lid, with a rather hurried yin yang symbol.

Leo sighed reflectivley as he rested the still form within the coffin, he glanced at Raph and Mike allow them the honour of closing the lid on the body within.

With silence the four boys each took a hand hold to lower the coffin into the grave, theyn they bowed their heads, as one they removed their eye masks and laid them on the coffin lid.

" He was our father and our mentor, without him we would not be here today." Leo spoke up.

" He was our advisor, but was wise enough to know when to step in and when to let us go our own way, seeking our own paths." Don stated.

" He was our protecter from beginning to end. He sought to make us strong in heart, body and soul" Raph declared.

" He was our friend, ready with a gentle ear, encouraging our own unique abilities and accepting us for who we were" Mike sniffed a bit.

" He was our Sensei and Master and we shall ever honour his teachings seeing to it that his legacy will live on." All four intoned formally.

Then they all took a turn at shovelling a bit of dirt onto the grave.

Leo looked at his family and at their friends April and Casey, he took a breath " He wanted us to honour him, and remember him as he was, and so while we place the Earth on top of him, the same Earth that gave birth to us I think we ought to honour his wishes and say a few words of what we remember about him." Leo's voice grew slightly rough and husky, " I will recall forever the day Splinter gave me these katanas, they were once used by his master Yoshi and so there is great history in them."

Don smiled " He was often uneasy about my inventions and some of my experiments and yet he never denied it."

Raph sighed shrugging uneasily, " What can I say I'm the black sheep of the family, the failure as it were. I often felt I was never good enough..." Raph kicked out at a rock, " But I couldn't picture my life without him either."

Mike licked his lips " No matter how much I fooled around he often seemed to be one step ahead of me, often with that walking stick of his at the ready."

Rama gave a small weak grin, " I can't forget the sai katas he performed when I was only four, to prove to me that I could possibly manage the sai even with my many fingers."

A small chuckle from many members of the family followed Rama's confession. The girl gave an embarassed shrug.

" How was I supposed to know that the numbers of my fingers didn't matter?" she muttered.

So it went until all who had wanted to had contributed a short bit of their memories of the one they were laying to rest.

" Death is never the end it is only the beggining. It is the end of one thing and the start of something else, while he has passed on, we can take heart in knowing that he lived a very full and long life." Leo said, " I don't think he had much to regret. He seemed to know that all things happen as they should, and that there was certain inevitable things in life that had to be accepted, death being just one of these things." Leo paused, " For every thing there is a season a time to be born and a time to die, life is about change and he truly did change." Leo took a deep breath, " He taught us about in and yo all positives and negatives in one aspect. He taught us the rules of balance and how to get the best from all of us. His achievements were many and he lived well beyond his years. His legacy is truly now ours."

April bowed her head stepping closer to Casey. Karena was dabbing at here eyes with a tissue trying not to cry but a few tears were trickling down her face, in spite of her efforts.

Leo swallowed hard, he glanced towards Ramiela and gave a barely perceptible nod in her direction. Rama came forward.

" The Master always had a way of reminding me of a geode, an ordinary drab looking rock, not,much to speak of on the outside but if you break it open the true beauty shines through. Splinter had a way of seeing past the rough exteriors that people have and seeing what lay deep inside. He wanted people to shine as brightly on the outside as they did on the inside" Rama spoke softly but her voice carried well to all those assembled, " He didn't want people being less then what they were so he pushed for the very best and he never gave up because what he knew lay within would one day break free. He knew how to open you up to show what others would easily pass up or by. It was part of his wisdom" She paused and took a deep calming breath, " But it was more then that it was part of who he was. It was his skill, his talent and he wasn't afraid or ashamed to use it." She glanced towards her uncle Raphael, " Sometimes when it seemed we had failed him, or perhaps felt we failed ourself he wouldn't hold it against us, for the rock must be hard and sharp. The rock must protect what lies within, because to show it off to the world might be dangerous. He knew that was the way of things. He accepted it but it didn't mean that he was going to continue on trying to get those he cared about to be everything he knew that they could be." Rama bowed her head and sighed, " I never fully understood why he chose me to be jonin. I didn't want it, that was for sure. I had no idea what he saw to make him even think, even for one moment that I was worthy of such a rank or title. I came to understand though, that I didn't have to know everything, that somethings one must simply accept on faith." She sniffed and took a deep breath. " Faith of the old who have lived a life time, faith of one who has proven time and again his right to lead; to decide. I had faith in him, and I know that I am the chunin that I am because of him. I know the Master helped to make the gems inside me shine through for all to see, as he has with all of us. In the end all I can say to honour him, to show my respect for that training is that I will work hard to prove his faith in me." She quickly ducked her head to dab at her eyes as she stepped back fighting to gain control, this was harder then she expected.

By now the grave had been filled in, and a hole for the tree stood waiting.

" A tree is a symbol of life, it passes through the seasons in spring it awakes a new and fresh, in summer it is in its full beauty, but by fall it is fading the leaves change colour droop and are scattered until the branches are laid bare. Winter's cold harsh touch is almost a form of death in itself" Don insisted, " We all go through periods of change small, decisions that can become major events. Sometimes it seems as if we both live and die many times in our life." Don coughed a bit to clear his throat, " Our Master could have died when his own mentor Hamato Yoshi died, and perhaps a part of him did fade or cease to exist. Perhaps he went about his life with no true meaning or intention, of continuing to live, sometimes that is all it takes." Don shook his head, " Our Master found us in the ooze, he didn't know what the consequences would be for taking us in, I wonder if he had known if it would have changed his mind?" Don gave a shrug, " Needless to say we gave him a meaning to live, to continue. This tree, the Japanese cherry tree, is and will always be a symbol of the world our Master came from but also one of his life and the changes he went through and endured so that we could be here now." He looked out at the family gathered solemly some standing trying to be brave by not giving in to their emotions others by releasing the tears and grief they still held. " If everyone would like to come forward and place some dirt around the tree's roots."

The children giggled happily grabbing fistfuls of the dirt to pat around the tree and its roots often turning to run back to the end of the line so they could do it again, this small break had been planned to get everyone involved with the ceremony and to let the children have a rest from standing still and the long boring talk, besides the tree needed to be planted one way or another and this, while probably not the quickest and most effective way of going about it allowed a bit of respite before they concluded.

Finally with the tree well planted and hands of many shapes and sizes pounding the dirt down the task was done, Raph's oldest Ashlynn was sent to bring back a large bucket of water from the stream to give the tree it's first drink after being planted.

Raphael watched and when the bucket was empty and placed down, he spoke calmly " We now ask that the entire family observe three minutes of silence in memory of Splinter."

There had been some debate on how long they ought to be silent for, finally they decided on three minutes knowing that most of the children could handle that and only Tessica might disturb the silence. The few minutes of silence was for each person to reflect on Splinter, and say goodby to him.

Finally the three minutes were over and Mike glanced Leo's way waiting for his signal.

" Dear Honoured Master

may your spirit rest in peace

life and death is one." Mike spoke with great respect as he bowed to the grave then he turned and winked towards Rama.

Rama stepped forward again this time to preform three Japanese songs that Splinter had been rather fond of. She tried not to think of that as she sang though for she knew the tears would choke her voice and she wanted the music to be right. Yet it seemed her throat was still sore and dry by the time she was finished and she found her shoulders slumping a bit as she went to stand near her father, Mike pulled her into a hug whispering something to her.

" If Splinter taught us anything, and I must confess he taught us many things, but the most important thing of all, the one that could very well save our life is he taught us ninjitsu." Leo declared, " So it seems only fitting that we end this ceremony with a sparring session. Aiden and Kaliann you will join us."

Aiden grimaced a bit but Kali quickly nudged him as she bowed to her father " We are honoured Master." she replied for the two of them.

Those who were not to be part of the sparring session stood back to watch, giving the seven ninja room to move as they began to show the skill and ability that had been taught to them from the time they were only toddlers. Each of them but a great deal of strength and energy in to the session, moving at speeds so fast, striking so suddenly that one hardly knew where an attack was coming. They were no more then green blurs, using the nearby grass and trees, to their advantage.

This was how sparring was supposed to be and there was a certain thrill that came with it, a small adrenaline rush as each one worked to strike and remove themselves from harm in less then a heartbeat.

When the session was called to a halt by Leo, all of them were sweated and their breath was coming a bit quicker though not quite that hard or fast.

" May Master Splinter rest in peace, may we always hold to the lessons that he gave us." Leo declared.

As one all the ninja bowed low before the grave and with that the long ceremony was ended and the family returned to the house.

Rama sighed as she glanced back over her shoulder at the tree, saying goodbye wasn't easy, but now perhaps the worst was over and soon the family could move on.

She didn't notice Leo carefully scrutinizing her, didn't know that her Master, her Sensei had a bombshell that he planned on dropping on her, he was doing his best to read her mood to get an idea of when the best time would be to approach her, Leo knew he would have to give her some time, and yet he was not one to procrastinate. Ramiela though seemed unaware of any of that, but then recent events had caused her to feel numb and hollow so that she wasn't as likley to notice Leo's probing.

Leo turned back to pull Karena closer to him, he would give Ramiela a bit more time, for he was not one to put off what was distasteful for too long and he knew it wouldn't get any easier either but a part of Leo mused, _' I wonder how she will take it. I know she vowed to try to live up to what Splinter saw in her, but I've known her long enough to realize I could very well, be playing with fire.'_

TBC


	7. Chapter 6: Dropping the Bomb

Time to say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Author's Note: Well I am still enjoying my vacation, writing lots and since I am at my sister's place decided to post this. R.

Chapter Six: Dropping the Bomb.

Rama sensed the deep melancholy that hung over her family, but while there was still a great deal of pain and sorrow, now there seemed to be a brief hint of light, a subtle easing of the burden as it were, now that the Master had finally been laid to rest.

They wouldn't be trapped under the shroud of death forever even though it seemed to persist in clinging to them now.

Rama took a deep breath of air as she glanced subtly around as if to verify where the entire family was before she silently slipped off the back porch, using her ninja skills, she moved quickly and quietly away from the others, entering the long grass of the meadow that was only seven feet or so from the porch. She crouched down, continuing to move with extreme stealth putting distance between herself and her family.

She wanted to be alone and meditate, to find her bearings, and more importantly she longed to be alone in hopes of being able to connect with Devon, maybe not to teleport to him but perhaps, talk to him as she had when she had first returned home.

The odds were it probably wouldn't work but she quickly shoved those negative thoughts aside, to the nether regions of her mind.

She missed Devon, more then she thought was humanly possible to miss anyone, and now that the teleporting thing was coming together she could easily envision her patience paying off in the ultimate reward, she could finally be with Devon the same way her dad was with her step mom. She felt that she had more then earned her chance to be with her beloved for a few days._'I mean we are on the farm for awhile now, there won't even be lessons for the next few days so it really wouldn't hurt if I did go see Dev,' _She mused to herself, knowing Leo had called for three days of no lesons so everyone could finally reach full acceptance and be better prepared when they moved back into their regular routine, he knew this break was necessary.

Rama finally stood up glancing carefully around to ensure no one had spotted her or had followed her, before she turned and walked towards the forest, her stride was confident.

She didn't seem to see or notice Leo standing up behind her watching her carefully move through the grass, being careful to leave no visible path behind her, once he was sure of where she was heading Leo moved quickly to go around and intercept the kunoichi. As he moved he kept his senses alert and did his best to make sure Rama was not aware of him, at least not until he was ready for her to be aware of his presence.

He made it a few feet into the woods and leaned against a tree waiting for his student to arrive, and giving the casual air that he had been in the woods and was, just now,returning to the farm.

He saw Rama draw closer, about five feet away she became alert, pausing she saw him against the tree, and the briefest of scowls crossed her face, she had been sure that he had been at the farmhouse. Ramiela kicked at a loose rock in her path feeling more then slightly irritated that he was here, and then she heaved a resigned sigh and gave a shrug._'All right I must have been mistaken about where he was.' _She told herself kindly_, 'It isn't the end of the world, making that sort of error especially recently.' _

Still another part of her chided her for making such a mistake as she moved forward, soothing her upset with the knowledge that while she had waited a long time for this day a few more minutes wouldn't make that big of a difference.

She bowed as she drew near to Leo awarding him the proper respect he deserved, "Master Leonardo" she spoke sincerely.

"Ramiela we need to talk" Leo said gently.

Rama nodded willingly "Of course my time is yours Master" she agreed fully, while inwardly she wondered what it was that he wanted to talk about.

Leo sensed that it was true though he had also felt her first bit of reluctance when she had realized he was there, but she was now obedient and willing to listen.

"I'm glad to hear that Ramiela," He assured her, "Now come walk with me for a bit." Leo gestured to the wooded path beyond as he turned to head down the path.

Rama fell into step beside him taking a deep calming breath of the scent of the trees and the dirt, hoping whatever it was Leo had to say that it wouldn't take too long. She really wanted some private time.

"How are you doing?" Leo inquired.

"You mean with Splinter's passing?" Rama wondered seeking clarification, "Or just about everything?"

"Splinter's passing" Leo answered simply.

"All right I guess. It still hurts but I'm starting to accept it" Rama murmured, though she knew that with Splinter, **_The Master,_** gone there was bound to be many changes coming. Things Leo might not have been willing to implement while Splinter lived, now may come to pass.

Life was change, and change was inevitable and the fact of the matter was Leo was not the person Splinter was, he was his own person, so it was only natural for Leo to change things that he felt might justify the clan better. It was part of the burden of leadership, and one day it would be her burden.

Leo probed his student carefully, trying to get a mental picture of where she was at emotionally, for he knew that what he had to say would affect her on a far more emotional sense. His feet easily dodging the roots of the trees that had heaved up from the ground, trying to entangle toes of the unwary hiker.

"Ramiela this ability to teleport is very useful, and I want everyone in the clan able to use it, who knows it might come in handy if our home is ever infiltrated." Leo began.

"That is why we have been working to perfect it for the past year right Master?"

"Yes," Leo agreed, "But also I have to know its limits how far can it be used before it becomes dangerous." Leo explained, "Even you know that just about any move in battle can be pushed to the point where it leaves you open and defenceless. So I have to wonder what or where is the weak point in teleporting."

Rama nodded "Like building immunities to poison if you aren't careful you could kill yourself."

"Exactly!" Leo declared., " There ought to be a point where we say no, we can't go beyond this, due to the extreme danger involved." Leo stated, "Teleporting can lead us to safety but I also firmly believe that it could kill us. We shouldn't rely on it too much or we could grow lazy and not focus on where we need to be."

Rama felt a sharp sinking in the pit of her belly "You're saying what?" she demanded in a sharper tone then she had intended, not even sure she wanted to hear the answer.

" Ramiela I know you wanted to use this skill to the point where hopefully you could use it to return to that alternate world" Leo kept his voice calm soothing, hoping to comfort Rama.

Rama shook her head, she knew where he was going, but she didn't want to believe it, or even hear it. Not now, not when she was so close.

" Ramiela it is too dangerous touse for that, we could lose you." Leo concluded as he rested a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Rama sidled to one side, sidestepping and brushing his arm away.

" Don't try and sugar coat it **Master!**" she sneered, " It won't go down any easier. You want me to forget about Devon and I can tell you it won't happen because I love him." her hands tightened into fists by her side, and her eyes narrowed into slits.

" Ramiela I am sorry but you can't be with him," Leo insisted feeling the turmoil starting to churn inside of her, " You will be endangering your life when it isn't necessary and we need you here."

Rama's jaw clenched, she stood up straighter as she felt the sudden pent up rage at this unfair piece of news, she fought to gain control of her emotions, to act and not react.

Yet at the same time her mind reeled.

Everyone else was entitled to have the one they loved near them, to have the support of the ones they cared for the most, but she could not have it. After all her hard work she was out right denied the chance to return to her beloved, her fiancée, and her betrothed.

To come so close and then to have it ripped from her, not just ripped but viciously snapped out from underneath her, leaving a gaping hole behind.

" Ramiela as Jonin of the clan. I can not permit you to use the teleporting technique to reach Devon."

Rama glared hard at Leo, not quite sure she was hearing him right, she found it hard to believe that this was her Sensei, and she couldn't recall a time when she felt so angry at him, or longed to go against him, not just for mere principle but because this was more then that.

" So you want me to just forget about him?" She demanded in a biting tone, " To walk away and continue my life as if he never existed?" Rama ranted, " I dare you to walk away from Karena and pretend she doesn't exist then tell me that I ought to give up on Devon simply because it is dangerous."

" **Ramiela!**" Leo spoke sharply his tone growing hard, but his look was sympathetic, he wished that Rama had managed to keep control, at least this once, even though he knew it was asking rather a lot of her.

" I love him and I want to be with him. I waited a long time for this day, you won't take it from me or from Devon." Rama flared ignoring Leo.

Leo took hold of her shoulders, gripping her firmly " It is **forbidden **Ramiela. I can't allow it. You are needed here" Leo stressed, " You will obey for as chunin you must uphold the ruling of the jonin."

" What will you do if I oppose your ruling? Banish me?" Rama asked cynically, a smirk crossed her face " You can't keep tabs on me all the time to ensure I obey!" She challenged, throwing down her trump card.

" Ramiela for your safety and for those of us who love you…" Leo began.

Rama cut him off with a slash of her hand " What about the man who loves me? Why is it I can be kept from him but not from you?" Rama demanded, " It is hypocritical of you is what it is." She paused taking a breath, " Please don't do this to me. Don't ask it of me. Let me go to him, let me explain at least or…"

" No Ramiela. You don't even know if you can reach him, perhaps there is no way for you to get back to him but you will continue to endanger yourself to achieve what is impossible." Leo insisted.

" It is not impossible I reached Devon's world and returned. I communicated with him, he was here" Rama stubbornly pointed out.

" I know but you haven't reached him since" Leo stated the obvious.

Rama glared not wanting to accept this verdict.

It wasn't that she wanted to put Devon ahead of her own family.

But a part of her knew like change itself, it was almost inevitable to put her beloved first. She was after all nineteen years old and yearned for more then the love of her family. It wasn't that she loved her family less. It was just the love she had for Devon was different from any love she had before.

In short she wanted a spouse someone to share her life with.

Yet now it seemed as if her Sensei, her Master the jonin himself wanted to take her dreams from her and leave her with nothing.

" Ramiela I know you are hurting. I will forgive you your outbursts but the ruling will stand" Leo informed her firmly, he could allow her the disrespect she had shown him as no one else had been witness to it.

Normally he could not allow an underling to go against him in the way Rama had, for she was fully aware that she would be severely punished for such transgressions, and it was up to her to set the example of obedience to the Jonin.

Leo was warning her not to push her luck, at the moment he could be forgiving, but she would still have to consider the consequences.

" You have a duty to your clan Chunin" Leo reminded her.

Rama's animosity was clear, she didn't want nor care to be reminded of her duty at this moment, she owed him far more than to forget him and pretend he didn't exist.

" Master Splinter would have never made such a decree, he allowed you to be with the one you loved, even though there was danger in that too." Rama fumed crossing her arms over her plastron.

Leo sighed as he tried to pull the girl into his arms to reassure her with a hug, but she resisted and he let her go.

" Think about it Ramiela. You'll understand why I ask this of you. Besides if you want what I or even your father has you won't get it."

Rama shook her head " You think Devon is unworthy? He is a ninja and a future jonin, no one is better suited for me then him" she declared.

" No he is not unworthy Ramiela," Leo admitted, " it is the time you must find to be with him."

Rama jerked her head back scowling in confusion, as she didn't understand what Leo meant, nor could she understand why he suddenly opposed their relationship.

" Think about it Ramiela" Leo implored as he turned and walked away.

Rama stood firm watching him leave, her chest was heaving and she had no desire to return to her family when it seemed they didn't want her near the one she loved. She just wanted to be alone, she might as well get use to it after all, for without Devon she'd probably be alone for the remainder of her life.

" I knew I was going die a virgin" she grumbled bitterly to herself.

She considered the idea of disobeying this unjust ruling, it might be worth the consequences, if only she could be with Devon, feel his arms around her, and be his wife as she had promised him.

TBC

**Lunar Ninja:**Yes it would be interesting to see,but I don't think Rma is returning to Devon anytime soon. Thanks for the review.

**Reinbeauchaser:**Oh yes, Rama is not amused to put it simply and you are right even if Leo wanted to pass the task off he wouldn't be able to. Thnaks for your review.

**Jessiy:** It won't beeasy for Rama that is true, you are also correct that the story is winding down. Thanks for your review.

**Pretender Fanatic:**Splinter had he been alive, may or may not have agreed with Leo, but then again the aged rat's mental capacities were not at their greatest by that point. Thanks for your review.

**Chibi Rose Angel: **Well this is as soon as I could get it up. Hope you enjoy. Thanks for your review.

**Lenni:**You were correct about it being Devon and now I think Rama is going blow. Thanks for your review.


	8. Chapter 7: Champions for the broken hear

Time to Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Author's Note: I will be sending my comments to reviewers separately as long as I know your e-mails. Ramica.

Chapter Seven: Champions for broken Hearted.

Leo headed back to the farmhouse, wisely keeping mental tabs on his student, knowing that it was possible for her to rebel in the worst way, and that Rama had a long history of breaking rules when she felt that they were not justified.

At the age of three she had started breaking the weapon rule, by forever stealing Raph's sais, a trick that she maintained no matter how often she was punished for the infraction.

At the age of seven she had broken the top side rule, for the sake of friendship, and while things had ended far better then any of them could have hoped, things could just as easily gone the wrong way.

At thirteen she had broken the guest rule, by trying to drive Cathy out of their home through a series of practical jokes; the fact that Cathy had been under the clan's protection at the time hadn't done a thing to curtail her shenanigans.

So, Leo was fully aware of what Ramiela's response might be under this situation. Though he knew she was far more responsible then in her youth and she did take her chunin responsibilities quite seriously, but he also knew his student and her ways. In short he wasn't going expect any obedience from her, at least not this soon in the game.

Karena spotted Leo him, and went to hug him as she pressed her body close she whispered softly. "You tell her?"

Leo nodded as he kept an arm around his wife and they both walked toward the house "She is upset which is to be expected, but I believe she will obey" Leo paused giving a wry grin, "eventually that is." he amended.

"Maybe I ought to go talk to her Leo" Karena suggested.

"No leave her be for now Karena" Leo decided.

"Leo she will be heart broken and…" Karena began her compassion and concern filling her voice as she gently pleaded with him.

Leo stopped and cupped her face in his hands, tilting her chin back, "I know she is hurting Karena, but right now she probably won't be into listening to reason" Leo explained, "She needs time to adjust and accept the decision. We can't afford to lose her Karena. If I felt it was safe to do so I would permit it."

Karena bowed her head, nodding slightly in understanding, she knew that her husband's choice was made to protect Rama, but she also was aware that the girl would be devastated, her hopes for the future crushed and she wanted a chance to speak with Ramiela to ease some of that heartache and longing, to make the loss bearable.

Leo looked toward the house and saw Cathy and Mike sitting on the porch enjoying a drink of lemon aide, he smiled as he guided his wife towards the porch.

…

Rama left the trail heading deep into the woods, she started to run, her legs rising and falling at a fast, steady pace. She left the path twisting and winding her way through the trees, her feet falling rapidly but quietly on the ground.

She knew what Leo was asking, no demanding, of her but she didn't know if she ever could, or would, comply for that matter. For what he wanted came with such a high price.

To give up on Devon, to turn her back on him and walk away as if he had never existed, when she loved him was something she didn't even want to consider, not for one second. But more then that was the fact, Leo just wanted her to forget him, not even give her a chance to _try_ and reach him so she could say goodbye, or give an explanation. She wasn't given a chance to be near him, so that the two of them together might come up with a plan that would suffice so they could be together.

Ramiela had no doubts that between her and Devon they could come up with an alternative plan to achieve their desires. She recalled the gentle assurance he had given her the night she had teleported to his room, all unknowing, together the two had realized what had happened and it was most likely the key to returning her home, but Rama suddenly wasn't sure about going back because she was afraid to lose him.

She recalled Devon coming on Valentine's night fulfilling her dreams to be with him again, and the wonderful night they had shared together. How Devon had disappeared so abruptly making her wonder if it was perhaps only a dream, but it had been Sensei and the Master who made her see that their love helped them to connect to one another. They also explained that Devon's need to know an answer to a burning question might have provided a vital link between the two.

Rama's vision blurred from tears and her chest heaved, from her exertion, combined with deep wracking sobs. She loved Devon, she couldn't possibly just let him go, and she was almost surprised to even realize she was crying because she had cried so much the last few days that she felt crying anymore would be almost impossible. She bashed a hand against the rough bark of a large tree in sudden fury, scraping and injuring her hand but doing nothing to the tree.

It all came down to the simple fact that Leo's decision, nay demand, just didn't sit well with her.

'_What right has he to keep me away from Devon? How dare he, even, assume that I would just walk away from the one I love without a fight. Love is worth fighting for. Devon is worth fighting for'_ her mind ranted and raged.

She was very aware of her Sensei's connection to her, knowing he was ensuring that she obeyed him and this further riled her, for she knew the slightest attempt to disobey would mean repercussions. Still if she was careful she could do it, she could achieve her plans to connect with Devon and have him none the wiser and of course she was very tempted to do just that.

Rama knew all she had to do was come up with a plan, and keep her scheme from her mentor, which wasn't easy, but considering the many practical jokes she had pulled off over the years against trained ninja warriors, she was sure she could manage.

What right did **_he_** have to keep her from her beloved any ways, or take away every opportunity to speak with him?

A part of her tried to warn her that the path of disobedience she was contemplating wasn't that safe and she was asking for trouble, as chunin she had to accept the Master's rulings, no matter how unfair they might seem to be.

"Humph just when does the Master get to rule on who I may love and who I may not? What does he tend to do, plot an arranged marriage for me, like they do in some countries?" She snorted contemptuously as she leaned against a tree, her left hand stung and was bleeding a bit from where she had smashed it against the bark, but she welcomed the pain for it matched the hurt and aching in her heart.

…

Night closed in, with the sun going down the early twilight cool hours with the chorus of crickets and frogs singing settled in around the farm. There was also the echo of the children playing games in the meadow grass their calls, and laughter drifting in the night air, the younger ones playing hide and seek, the older ones in a game of capture the flag.

Yet Rama had not returned, she hadn't arrived for dinner, nor did she appear now to join in with one group or another. Cathy chewed at her bottom lip as she looked over the grass for some sign that her step daughter would arrive.

Cathy was concerned and deeply worried over Ramiela's continued absence, she knew that Splinter's death while expected to some extent, was still a harsh blow to all and then to compound it by telling Ramiela she could not be with the man she loved was bound to cause trouble.

"Stupid," Cathy murmured under her breath as she stared at Leo, while leaning on the porch railing she added a few more insults to describe her brother in law and his insensitivity.

She decided she had maintained her silence long enough and strode over to where Leo and Karena were currently sitting under the shade of a tree.

Leo looked up a questioning look on his face, one eye ridge raised he expected problems especially as Cathy's mood was not that pleasant, and he also knew that Cathy had never been one to abide or simply accept the whole clan business routine.

"I know about your talk with Rama, Leo and the fact nobody has seen her since says a great deal," Cathy declared quickly getting straight to the point.

"It doesn't concern you Catherine. Ramiela is all right" Leo replied simply as he stood up.

Karena stayed sitting, silently wishing that Cathy would back down, but knowing that she wasn't going to.

Cathy shook her head, "it does concern me Leo, because I care for her, and I won't ignore my feelings for her simply because you feel I ought to and that you have the right to decide it." Cathy huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, "Leo clan business, is also family business. What happens in the clan can affect separate families in the clan." She explained her eyes glaring sharply at him, "Just because you sense her, you feel that she is 'all right' but it isn't because her continued absence says it isn't all right Leo" Cathy growled, "Rama is not a loner like Raph's children tend to be. Yes she does go off independently now and again but for the most part she is happy to stay in the group, and she has been gone too long."

Leo gave her a sharp withering stare "This is clan business you have no right to interfere or tell me how to run things" Leo stated sharply, as he straightened his stance and gave her an imposing look.

"Oh quite with your posturing and intimidation tactics Leo, I can read them a mile off and they don't bother me" Cathy retorted, "You fail to see that this isn't about your clan it is about _her_ feelings," Cathy corrected sharply, "and you are being too obtuse to realize that. Well I am not and I am going to look for her Leo, because right now I think ignoring her, under these circumstances, is the worst possible thing."

"Catherine leave Ramiela alone" Leo ordered, "if you sympathize with her it won't help." Leo's tone was sharp and commanding.

"And I'll be undermining your authority again" Cathy concluded as she turned to walk off, glancing over her shoulder toglare at Leo, "It would be far better to leave her upset and miserable in your eyes then to give her some advice or help" she turned giving Leo an icy stare "You are the most…" Cathy gritted her teeth as her lips clenched into a tight grim line, "Forget it I'm looking for her."

Leo fumed as he watched her leave, he knew he could stop her, but there was a good bet she wouldn't find Rama before dark, and therefore would give up her search quickly so he let her be.

Leo just couldn't figure out why it was that Cathy of all the wives could not accept or give into Clan ruling, if any of the women opposed the clan's rules or punishment then one could expect it to be Cathy.

It was normal for all of the women to speak up at first but Cathy had never stopped speaking up for what she felt was right, and often undermined his orders causing conflict. True Cathy didn't just speak up for her family, but for any member who she felt was being handled badly.

Leo found this rather irksome and yet he hadn't been able to get her to stop either, he had often discussed with Mike the importance of letting her know why she had to bow to clan jurisdiction

Mike's answer remained the same "Cathy cares for the individual as well as the group bro, and that's a good thing because if she didn't think or feel like that, well Rama might still be an experiment in a laboratory."

Mike accepted that Leo as jonin had certain rights, and he would stand by his brother and back him up on any ruling and punishment. But Mike also knew that his wife would not change who she was, and to tell the truth he didn't want that part of her to change.

As an animal behaviourist Cathy had learned to study, not only group or herd dynamics but to also watch the individual and how that being found its place in the family unit, this was such an ingrained skill that by now, Cathy couldn't just drop it. She could probably cease breathing easier then using her skills in every facet of life.

So in this area, as in many others in Mike's life, caused Mike to walk a fine borderline of placating both sides while remaining cheerfully neutral.

Karena looked up at her husband's sour displeased glare, and grimaced knowing she'd have to reassure Leo that Cathy's views and opinions was not an attempt to overthrow his command in any way. It was a talk she often had to have with her mate, whenever the two choose to butt heads.

Karena sighed inwardly, though she was actually glad because she knew that once Leo was able to calm down he often considered her words. Besides Cathy often said the very things that Karena didn't dare say.

…

Cathy was irked that Leo had acted so well, like a jonin. Typical male he probably had no idea what Devon truly meant to Rama, or how badly he might have hurt her with his orders.

A girl's first love was always special and not one that was easily cast aside or forgotten.

Cathy smiled reflectively as she thought of her own first love, and how her family had moved away so that she wouldn't see him again. Sure she had been young but at that time she had felt he would be the only love of her world.

She glanced around wondering where to look for Rama, knowing full well the girl would hide so no one would see her crying, or upset. Rama strived to be ninja in all things, and so would long for control in all things.

Rama though a ninja was sensitive and caring, and like any young girl losing her first love was probably a tragedy of epic proportions.

Cathy knew it would soon be dark, so her best chance to find Rama was to do it quickly, as she neared the woods she paused looking into the dark trails beyond. She took a deep steadying breath, "It comes down to this how well do I know Rama, and where do I think she will be?"

Cathy stood considering her options before heading down a dirt path, she hadn't gone too far when she heard a noise, the slight movement of branches and snapping of twigs under foot, caused her to stop.

"Probably just a deer or some other creature" she told herself pushing onward.

Though whatever it was seemed to be heading her direction and closing in fast, making her wonder if it was a deer, for most animals would have caught her scent and moved away.

She turned towards the noise and saw Mike emerging and smiled at him.

"I uh, saw you having words with Leo, but I wanted to let you know I was coming" Mike explained with a shrug, "So what were you and Leo, having problems with now?" he asked delicately.

"Rama she hasn't come home yet and…"

"She's upset, the last few days have been hard on all of us Cathy" Mike said as he slipped an arm around her, "I sense her and know she is hurting but sometimes it is better for people to work things out for themselves."

"Mike it isn't just that. Leo told her something that he labels as clan business, but it really tore at her feelings and he didn't even consider how it would hurt her" Cathy grumped.

"Mmh, uh yeah" Mike mumbled, knowing he'd have to be careful now, "So uh, what was it Leo told her?" he wondered.

"Basically he doesn't want her teleporting to see Devon" Cathy replied, " Karena warned me he was going do it."

Mike fought to hide his smile from his wife, he hadn't really liked the idea of Rama being involved with a Raphael child to begin with, and her Uncle was a bad enough influence on her, without a husband who might be equally incorrigible. Of course he wasn't too sure of the teleporting bit either, it was dangerous and he was unnerved with it, probably more due to watching her float up into the air and disappear before his eyes on her first trip, but he still didn't like the idea.

However, he was aware of Rama's attachment to the boy, she talked with such warmth of him and had even done a few sketches of her lizard boy, which she had put up in her room, plus he recalled the deep longing and misery when Rama had returned to them. Mike was fully aware then, that Leo's order was a harsh blow, and made even worse by the timing of the news.

"Well Leo sure picked a convenient time to drop this on her didn't he?" Mike allowed, "Come on Cathy I have a few ideas of where Rama may be hiding."

"Mike right now she needs compassion, understanding, you know a woman to woman talk, mother to daughter sort of thing" Cathy explained, her tone apologetic.

"Fine, I understand and trust me I don't want to hang around" Mike agreed, "I'll help you look, if we find her and Rama is willing to talk then I'll be on my way and if she isn't then we just have to let her be for now, okay Cathy?"

Cathy nodded as she hugged Mike giving him a long kiss "Thank you."

Mike's only response was to hold his wife closer to him.

TBC


	9. Chapter 8: Woman to woman

Time to say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Chapter Eight: Woman to woman

Even with Mike's help it had taken them three tries to find Rama's hiding spot, Mike had cautiously warned Cathy to stay back while he inspected the area to insure that Rama was indeed there, before he returned to his wife.

"You sure you want to do this Cathy?" Mike asked softly upon his arrival back at her side. "From the way Rama is right now it really, might be better to leave her alone" he hedged.

He hadn't spoken to Rama and had done his absolute best to insure that she wasn't aware of him, but her body language spoke volumes, possibly she had sensed him, whether she had or hadn't her hunched shoulders and the complete air of misery told Mike that she wanted to be left alone, and woe to anyone who felt like disturbing her.

"Well if she doesn't want to talk maybe she will see fit to listen, Mike. I have to try." Cathy declared. "She ought to know a few things. Give me ten minutes with her alone if I haven't emerged, or been thrown out by then go home."

"Okay" Mike agreed, "Good luck Cath, you are going to need it hon" he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before going into the bush away to provide the privacy that the two would need.

Cathy meanwhile turned to the bush, some where in the middle of the bush was Rama, and about the only way to reach her was to get down almost on hands and knees, even then Cathy found that she made a great deal of noise as she bushed branches aside in her attempt to reach the girl, who was hidden somewhere in the foliage.

All the leaf rustling and branch snapping might cause Rama to bolt, escaping on a different side of the bush using ninja stealth, and Cathy was positive that if Rama truly wanted to be alone she would opt for that route, and if Rama did go that way then she would have to accept that for the step daughter didn't want any help.

As Cathy neared the centre of the bush she noticed it opened up, a leafy roof growing over head, more importantly Rama was sitting in the lotus position on the soft dirt ground, the girl had turned to face her, and Cathy noticed tear tracks on her face, her cheeks were dirty, probably caused by Rama wiping the tears off her face with her dirt caked hands. There was a sullen petulant look on her face.

"Nice place you have here, very quiet" Cathy approved.

Rama gave an indifferent shrug as if to say, it doesn't matter. "I knew it was you and dad." She took a deep breath, "But I'm not going back." She retorted, she raised her head and a hard determined look came to her eyes.

"Are you running away then?" Cathy wondered.

"I'm not running anywhere" Rama corrected, "running away is for little kids who don't know better. It doesn't work out because you can't escape what you want to run from. Besides I want to be with my family and with Devon too."

"Leo doesn't want you to be with Devon though and that hurts huh?" Cathy probed.

"He could ask me to lay down my life for those I love, to guard and protect them from any danger. I would do _anything _for him, except this." Rama stated morosely, "I've been meditating trying to reach Devon, I want to communicate with him and I don't plan on going back until I do reach him."

"Are you going to teleport to him if you reach him?" Cathy asked curiously, she knew that forbidden fruit was very tempting and knowing Leo's recent degree, she might decide to teleport just so she could see her betrothed again.

"No. I don't really want to disobey Master Leonardo he doesn't want me teleporting but he didn't say anything about mental communication. If I could reach him then maybe we could work something out between us." Rama explained.

Cathy smiled, trust Ramiela to find the loophole, Leo had told her to not use her teleporting skill to see Devon, he had not explicitly forbidden mental communication and if a portal was too open between the worlds Rama could argue that 'just because a door was there didn't mean she had to make use of it. A distinction that Leo may not care for, especially in his role of jonin, but one that he would have to permit, or decide that even that was not allowed thereby forbidding even that link. Either way he could not give a harsh punishment to the chunin when based on this loophole.

"No luck I take it huh?" Cathy inquired as she sat cross legged in front of Rama.

Ramiela gave a negative shake of her head and sniffed a bit "It might come yet though" she murmured, but something in Rama's tone told Cathy it was partly only wishful thinking on her part.

Cathy gave a smile "Hard part is making sure Leo doesn't find out your plans huh?"

"I won't teleport but he can't keep me from Devon. I love him and I refuse to give up on him." Ramiela responded quickly.

"I don't blame you from everything I have heard about this boy he is worth fighting for, and I bet you are willing to move heaven and Earth to be with him." Cathy assured her soothingly, "I hope I get a chance to meet him one day, for I know how special he is to you."

Rama smiled tentatively in reply, Cathy obviously didn't agree with Leo, but more importantly she knew how much Devon meant to her. That she would get over any obstacle to be with him for he was her beloved.

"Devon and I are engaged, I wouldn't have agreed to be his wife if I didn't intend to keep that" Rama said, "I have promised to be his, and he is mine. I mean to keep that promise, I don't break my promises. To do so would be wrong and dishonourable" Rama explained, "I have no intention of hurting Devon just because of a bit of danger involved in us being together. I live a rather dangerous life anyways."

Cathy reached over and cupped the girl's face in her hands; she didn't have to see that Rama was determined to keep her word. "I know you said before that Devon can't have a family with any one but you…" she began.

"Well, his sister Gaele might be able to change that eventually, but I wouldn't be with Devon just for that. I don't think of it as an obligation. I just feel that we were meant." Rama hurried to assure her step mom.

Cathy nodded "I know you wouldn't, you're not the type. So I don't doubt for one moment the feelings you have for Devon."

Rama felt comforted to know that someone at least understood where she was coming from, "I just want to be with him is that so bad?" she muttered.

"Of course it isn't and it is always hard to be away from the one's we love. Devon is very special to you everything you ever thought you wanted in a guy, but probably didn't realize it until you met him" Cathy sat back a bit, "lets see here, Devon understands your ninja heritage and why the ninja happen to do the things they do, being a future Jonin he also can understand the duties and sacrifices you have to make for your clan" Cathy ticked the points off on her fingers, "while you get along fairly well, his Raphael temperament means that there is always a bit of oh, tension or excitement in him that can cause arguments but making up after words could be fun."

Rama smirked and ducked her head.

"He is slightly dangerous with a biting sarcastic humour." Cathy continued.

Rama giggled, "I don't know why you want to meet him you seem to know him all ready."

Cathy grinned, "Let's not forget the ability to irritate the hell out of your father, a prerequisite I think for you" Cathy concluded.

"All that and more" Rama agreed.

Cathy nodded her face turned serious and sympathetic, "I'm sorry Leo decided to do this to you, he could have found a better way, or a more appropriate time of breaking the news to you, even if he did feel that this was the necessary way to go. Putting you on the spot and making you feel like you have to choose between two things you love, the most." She commiserated.

"Romeo and Juliet didn't stop being together even when it was forbidden." Rama pointed out.

"I don't want that sort of ending for you that they had, much as you love him dying for loss of him wouldn't make things easier." Cathy reminded them.

Rama gave a humble nod of her head "Seppuku must be honourable or else it defeats the purposes."

Cathy gave a shake of her head "Always the ninja" she murmured.

"A ninja is nothing without honour" Rama insisted with a proud tilt to her head, "But ninja must love too, for in love the ninja finds the reason to fight for honour. So that when a ninja fights he always fights to protect that which he loves, whether it is his home, his family or something special and sacred to him."

Cathy sighed, "Rama a ninja is taught many things. You have learned that many things in life happen for a reason, sometimes we might know what the reason is, other times we might not learn it until years later" Cathy hinted, "So what if meeting Devon was a chance thing, and it happened for a reason you might not understand as of yet."

Rama's eyes grew hard at Cathy's gentle speculative words, "You think I won't be able to connect with Devon again, even mentally?" she accused.

"No, I am just saying that it might be possible, personally for your sake because you do love him, I hope you can reach him." Cathy hasted to assure the girl, " Hypothetically, though it is just as possible that certain elements might have to be in order to make the connection between the two worlds, perhaps these elements only happen at certain times of the year, you know like eclipses, or comet trajectories or planetary alignments only come at specific times."

Rama sighed, she had often thought of that herself, not that she ever would say it aloud, but for all the times she had tried to reach him, the numerous failures she just had to wonder about it, even if it was only a tiny pricking at the back of her mind.

"We won't know until we try" she said.

"True, but do you really believe that?" Cathy pressed gently, "I mean far as I know you have only reached Devon twice since coming home, both times were around the time of your return. That is why I am starting to believe it happened for a reason, your meeting was perhaps kismet." Cathy explained, "Any idea you can think of to make that meeting worthwhile?"

Rama nodded casually, "I got to see that we could live a different life, life topside and as our family grows what learned there might be useful here. We can be accepted topside for the most part, but we can't forget who we are and we have to maintain our ninjitsu for those times when it may be necessary to use."

"Yes, very important and I am sure they learned something from you too. Such as to take pride in their ninja heritage, and how lucky they are to have all the things they do. They might have taken advantage of their wealth and power before, but you were a reminder of who they once were, and what they could be." Cathy said.

Rama grinned, "Heck of a wake up call huh?"

"Falling in love, being in love I think was an added bonus, perhaps it helped to show you, exactly what you do want in a guy, that you aren't that different that you will never have anyone to love you in that way." Cathy informed her.

Rama scowled visibly, "But if you are right about that, then it means I may never see Devon again, no matter what I may want." Rama realized, her voice tinged with uncertainty.

"It is possible" Cathy stated casually," But I could be wrong, I just want you to think about it. Consider the pros and the cons of possibly reaching Devon again." Cathy paused, "I have no doubt you can get past Leo's restrictions and that you would take what ever repercussions come from it, but even if I am wrong and you can connect with Devon what then?"

Rama's face scrunched up "What do you mean?" She asked in puzzlement.

"Well what could happen if you could visit each other?" Cathy inquired simply.

"Easy we'd get married and we'd be together when ever we got the chance to." Rama answered a warm glow in her eyes at the mere thought.

"Of course a beautiful wedding, but both of you are future jonins and needed to be the jonin for your clans, which means your time together might be rather limited" Cathy said delicately pointing out the obvious.

"I know that so does Devon but we can work it out between us." Rama insisted.

"True all couples have certain areas that they must agree upon or compromise on, so I don't doubt that the two of you can find some common ground, due to your lifestyle here Devon may have to come here more often then you could go to his world but I am sure he could manage" Cathy allowed sincerely, "However the matter might become more complicated if you get pregnant, or have children."

Rama shook her head, "They could travel with me to visit Devon and his family and he could come here to see them whenever he wanted."

"Yes, but how would traveling between worlds affect your pregnancy, for all you know such travel could harm or even kill an unborn child." Cathy stated, "Also you seem to think that Devon would let you have the children here."

"Why wouldn't he? I would be the mother" Rama stated.

"And _he_ would be the father. He would have as much right to have his children visit with him and his family while you are busy at home." Cathy said.

Rama bit at her bottom lip worrying it between her teeth a scowl on her face "I hadn't really thought about that. I mean I just figured that my children would be with me, but they would be Devon's kids too. I can't live there, not while things are so," Rama paused, "unsettled here and Devon would never manage living in the sewers. It would be like taking a wild animal and caging it, he'd survive for a time, but eventually it would kill him because he is use to being free." Rama sniffed and hunched her shoulders.

She had never thought beyond having Devon for a husband, she was sure visiting one another could be worked out, but the thought of adding children to the situation caused problems that might be difficult to overcome.

Even when she had been with Devon, they had never stopped to consider that aspect of their relationship. Though they both knew that the other wanted to have a family, of their own neither of them had stopped to question the other how that would work between them.

Cathy could see her words were taking root in the girl's mind, causing a hint of doubt where none had been before. She reached out placing a reassuring hand on Rama's shoulder.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but I know how you want a family of your own. It is possible you can work something out between you, just like for who visits who. Still such things may cause heated arguments, and there would be children to think of, what is best for them?"

Rama groaned, "I don't know. I guess if I get a hold of Devon I'd have a lot to talk about with him."

"Yes, maybe in the meantime, until you do reach Devon, you might want to consider what you do want out of your relationship with him. Part of finding the right person for you, isn't just finding what appeals to you" Cathy advised, "But also the things that you want out of a relationship."

"I suppose" Rama whispered, her head bowed. "But how do I know what I want?"  
"You know what you want Rama." Cathy assured her, "Your heart knows what it desires. If Devon is what you want then you will be able to overcome but if you want something out of a relationship that he can't give you through one reason or another" Cathy smiled, "Even if it is no fault of his own, then you have to decide how important that is to you. Is Devon more important or is the thing he can't give you more valuable?" Cathy sighed, "Once in a while in any relationship we learn that there are certain things we need or want and then we realize that our relationship has changed and doesn't mean what it once did."

Rama shivered and Cathy moved to hug her, "You might love Devon, a part of you may always hold to him, think about him and want to be with him. You might always love him in a secret place of your heart and that is all right."

"But do I have to let him go now?" Rama moaned.

"That is up to you and it is your choice. If you decide to say goodbye to him, even if you can't reach him to tell him you can't go through with it, write a letter to yourself. Write a letter anyways, maybe in writing a letter to Devon you'll be able to define what you want." Cathy suggested, "You may decide to stay with Devon now, but a year or two from now you may change your mind. You must decide when is the right time to say goodbye to Devon because there is always a faint hope that you will see him again and when and if you do, you have to be able to say truthfully that you only let go of him when you knew the time was right." Cathy kissed Rama's cheek.

Rama hugged Cathy tightly she had never considered this things before and now that they were there, lying before her she could not ignore them either, and these revelations changed so much. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, because she did love Devon and yet, what would she have if they remained together.

She recalled Leo saying she would never have what her father and uncles had, if she stayed with Devon and she knew now he was trying to tell her the closeness Cathy and her Aunts shared with their spouses came from the time they spent together helping each other, being there through good and bad times. It was yet another thing to consider because she knew Devon couldn't really be with her in that way.

Cathy knew Rama's sudden silence meant that she was considering her options, Ramiela's tight grip about her waist, confirmation that the girl better understood her choices and the consequences of having Devon for a mate. Cathy caressed Rama's dark hair.

"It is your choice Rama where love is concerned nobody can make you say goodbye until you are ready. If you love him that is fine, if you want to work these things out then there is a chance. This doesn't mean anything is over" Cathy assured her.

Rama glanced up at her "I know' she said, "there is just suddenly a lot of things to think about." Rama mumbled.

"I understand, want to be alone?" Cathy wondered.

Rama shook her head, "No, I don't mind you being here. I know you understand."

It was all she could say to let Cathy know she understood she knew Cathy accepted Devon and the love she felt for him but her step mom was also trying to get her to see everything, not just the moment of being with Devon being his wife and visiting but the things beyond that. It was only further proof of how much Cathy accepted Devon, so the points she had made against him hadn't been truly in opposition of him, or there being together, however they still left Rama wondering what she wanted, and who could best give her what she wanted.

Cathy's talks usually left her with more questions then answers, and this one truly had been no different.

TBC


	10. Chapter 9:The letter

Time to say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I don't own the monopoly on any shadow warrior chelonians named after renaissance artists.

Chapter Nine: The Letter

Leo kept very close tabs on Ramiela over the next few days, when she was with the family he wasn't as concerned but when she slipped away on her own he was aware that she was far more likely to disobey his orders. He was aware that Rama had tried to reach Devon over the forty eight hour period since he had dropped the bomb on her, and while he knew the kunoichi was pushing the limits of the new rule, nothing unheard of for Rama, he also knew the girl wanted a chance to say goodbye to the man she loved. She deserved a chance to connect with him, though Leo doubted her ability to reach him, and as long as she didn't give into temptation he would allow it.

Cathy was also aware of Ramiela's quiet closed in and melancholy ways, but she knew Rama had to come to terms with things on her own, and she had a great deal to consider. Cathy did her best to offer what help, comfort or advice she could to the nineteen year old, but knew no matter what the decision Rama made she would end up heart broken to some extent.

Rama was aware of the constant monitoring, and she realized that sometimes being ninja, with mental connections to her clan, did have its draw backs for there was no such thing as privacy or being completely alone, on the upside you knew you had your family to support and help you.

She subtly watched the adult members of her family, seeing their interaction together and how much they helped each other out. She could see the closeness they had with their spouses of choice, and sometimes it was enough to bring her to tears, because she wanted that and yet it seemed to have been ripped from her.

Yet the more she turned it over in her mind, the more, she realized that perhaps it hadn't been ripped from her at all, for her and Devon could never truly be together for long periods of time.

'_Don't they say absence makes the heart grow fonder,_' she mused to herself but she knew that for her and Devon they would be more apart then together.

Instead of having her spouse or mate to turn to when she needed him, she would have to be on her own, and it was trials and suffering that often caused couples to grow closer and stronger.

Rama tried often to reach Devon, as if more determined to reach him now then before but each failure caused her to be more depressed, for she knew that if she didn't reach him then perhaps her only alternative was to let him go, whether she wanted to or not.

She found her way by Splinter's resting spot and sat down " I wish you were still here I could use your wisdom, but you have more then earned your rest Master" She sighed, "I guess I just don't know what to do. It was your time and saying goodbye to you was right, and though it hurts to lose you it doesn't cause that lasting ache and pain," she shook her head, "But to lose Devon when I expected so much, of our relationship is something different. I just can't seem to forget him, and I don't want to."

"Why should you forget him Ramiela?" came a voice from behind her, "You love him don't you?"

Rama turned, giving an embarrassed grin as she saw Kaliann standing behind her, "So now you know I talk to myself" she joshed.

"Don't worry, sometimes it is the best conversation a person gets in their whole day, besides it is when you start answering yourself that I'd worry" Kaliann grinned, "Besides you haven't told about Mark yet so," Kali shrugged, "it can be our secret, not that there is anything wrong in talking to Splinter aloud. I've done it a bit myself" she admitted shyly.

Rama smiled back "How does it feel to be with your guy?"

Kali seemed to glow with that question, "I can't seem to get enough of him, I think about him constantly and I want to talk to him or be with him. He's really quite nice. I mean he knows I'm different but that doesn't seem to bother him" Kali gushed, "But I worry about introducing him to the family, because that many all at once can be, kind of intimidating, and because I have more human facial features he might act strange around those who aren't" Kali explained.

"Do you think he will accept all of us though?" Rama wondered.

"I know he will, it just might take him time, I'd rather introduce him slowly so he isn't overwhelmed but I'm not sure how to go about it." Kaliann assured her quickly. "It seems kind of strange and exciting having a secret guy of your own."

Rama nodded, "I love Devon, and I want to be with him, but I wouldn't be able to stay in his world while my family is here and at war with the Foot, so maybe he isn't the one that is truly mean to be." She murmured more to herself.

Kali gave a slow smile, "That seems wrong though Ramiela, I figure if you love someone you should be with them."

" Not always, how many times have we saved some woman whose been beaten on by her guy, and she sits there and says I love him he'll change and she goes back" Rama remarked, "Sometimes the one you love isn't right for you, and you have to move on."

"I'm never leaving Mark" Kali declared with conviction. "He makes me feel so wonderful and when he kisses me, oh geesh I just…" Kali blushed suddenly ducking her head.

Rama gave a small chuckle, "I recall that feeling, the sudden urge and desire to just give in and take it to the limit, see how far, how high, you could go."

Kali nodded "Did you and Devon ever, well you know go all the way?"

Rama shook her head, "No we didn't, there were times we both wanted to but something happened to sort of spoil it" Rama confessed grudgingly, "I sort of backed down at the last minute and once well, we sort of got interrupted."

Kali rolled her eyes "Talk about spoiling the mood."

"Maybe Kali, it was for the best, there are times I regret the fact I didn't go all the way with Devon, and mostly though I'm glad we didn't do it." Rama admitted "Now I think that Uncle Raphael was right all along, you want to make sure that you give it to the right person, at the right time."

"How do you know when it is right though?" Kali asked.

"If you have any doubt in your mind don't do it," Rama advised, "It was my doubts and uncertainties that held me back the first time with Devon, then when he visited here that once he wanted to, but I didn't feel it was right" Rama stated, "better yet make sure that fellow is committed to you Kaliann, and the best way of that is waiting for marriage."

"Are you going wait for marriage now Rama?" Kali asked.

"Sure why not?" Rama agreed, "I'm going die a virgin anyways if I can't get back to Devon. Heck I'll probably return to Devon by the time he is too old to do anything anyways."

Kali laughed, "What ever makes you say that?"

Rama sighed reflectively "Facts Kali, look it when I was in Devon's world two months had passed, but here only two weeks had passed. Which means one week here is like a month there" Rama explained, " In about twelve weeks here he would have lived a year, that is if their calendars are based on twelve months like ours, in one of our years Devon would have seen a great deal more time pass by."

"I guess you didn't notice it when you were there huh, how quickly things went?" Kali wondered.

"Not really I talked about it with Uncle Don and he had an explanation for it all, I can't recall quite what he said." Rama said.

"Course you don't remember, not the way Uncle Don talks." She giggled.

"You be respectful, he is truly beyond his time and generation." Rama scolded lightly.

"What are you going do about Devon then if you love him so Rama?"

Rama heaved a heavy sigh and gave a slow shake of her head, "I don't know Kali but I think Cathy was right, maybe if I write a letter I can figure out what it is, that I am going to do."

Kali scrunched up her face giving Rama a peculiar look "Write a letter?"

"Well no matter what I think I have to say goodbye to Devon, but since I can't see him, maybe I have to write what I would say to him, if I did see him" Rama pointed out," while I am writing the letter I'll be able to get facts and things down to make the choice easier."

"Oh. Okay" Kali muttered but the expression on the younger girl's face said she wasn't so sure.

Rama smiled as she stood up "Think of it like talking to yourself, and maybe answering yourself too. In fact you might want to try it to figure out how to introduce your beau to the clan," She smirked, "Course you can always consider introducing him to someone other then your dad at first, even if it is your mom, or a trusted member of the clan, so they can back you up for meeting your father."

"Dad isn't so bad, he is reasonable" Kali disputed.

"Yeah until he meets the person who wants to take his daughter away from him, then he might get just a little intimidating" Rama smirked, "I think you know that too Kali, or you would have done it before now." She challenged as she walked away.

…

Rama had gone off to meditate again but this time she had some paper and a pen with her. It was time to write the letter and stop, her standing in one place.

'_One can not go forward while standing in one spot.'_

Hadn't Gabby's mom Cassandra told her that, words that she had learned from Splinter, or seemed very familiar to what Splinter would say.

It was true she could not move on or go forward, while staying tied to her memory of Devon. She wasn't sure that she was fully ready to move forward but she was hoping for some enlightenment somewhere that would help her to the right path, to remain committed to Devon or to say goodbye and move on.

She assured herself that no one would interrupt her by choosing a secluded spot and then she prepared by meditating for a time before hand, clearing her mind of all things unnecessary, when she roused she took her pen and paper out.

At first the words came slowly but in no time they flowed, as if the pen could not write fast enough.

Devon,

I miss you so much, and long to be with you my love. I often wonder if you think of me as much as I think about you, have you tried to reach me, and felt so defeated and rejected each time you failed? Do you cling to the memories of the days we spent together remembering little things about me?

I'm sure you have and you do.

I see you so clearly in my mind, and yes there are many nights I have dreamed about you, holding me, keeping your promise to me, and so much more, but then I wake up and realize it was only a dream and I miss you all the more.

It seems ages since we were last together, though I can't forget the special night we shared in Central Park on Valentines.

I wonder if we will see each other again, and I'm starting to believe that much as I want to it just won't be possible. I want to think that I am wrong that I will be held in your arms again, but we haven't connected since that night and that is what makes me doubt. I know it has happened once before and it could happen again, but who is to say when? Or where or how much time will pass before we can be together, and will we care for each other as much when that should happen?

We recently lost our Master Splinter, even though I knew what losing him would be like from being in your world, and learning of his passing, it still hurt. Though I believe everyone is coming around now.

Still his passing made me realize how much I wanted your strength and support to help me, to comfort me and reassure me that his death didn't mean the end of the world, that life, could and would go on.

Then our Leo told me, that I could not use my skills to teleport to be with you, because he felt it was too dangerous but I feel it is a risk worth taking, **any **risk is worth taking to be with you Devon.

Life is not worth living without some risk. I did consider disobeying him, even if he is the jonin, I always have had a mind of my own, as I'm sure you remember, but I realize I can't.

What if I did disobey Devon?

Yes, we could be together, and that alone might make it worth it and awfully tempting but I would have to come home and face the music here sooner or later. Not to mention that your Leo would probably still feel that I was his charge, to some extent, and as he knows my position in my clan, would not approve of me going against clan jurisdiction. I'd have to pay the price twice! Instead of getting heck from one clan, I'd get it from two!

Your family would not be amused at a future Jonin, a chunin of the clan disregarding the rules in such a flamboyant way.

Hmph! Can you believe it Devon, a Michaelangelo child worrying about the rules? Instead of finding how many creative ways one can go about breaking them. Ah the price of being Chunin. I have all ready decided that leadership isn't what it is cracked up to be.

So where does that leave us Devon, when we can't even break the rules to see one another?

We are both needed by our respective clans, perhaps you not as much as I, because you aren't really at war, then again maybe that has changed and you have seen some more battles because there is the question of how those terrorist and Foot could get hold of Don Tello and the after math of it all.

I could not be with you because my own family needs me, and I know I would miss them dearly Devon. I missed them the whole time I was there and I worried about them. It wouldn't be right for me to be safe while my family is in danger. Living in the lap of luxury might be something I could grow accustomed to, but not at the expense of my family.

If you were with me continually, you would feel cramped and trapped in the sewers because you are used to your freedom, and you would know everything you lost and gave up to be with me.

While love is about sacrifice I don't think it should mean giving up everything to be with that person, to do that can cause hard feelings and trouble later. I don't want that for us Devon.

So worse comes to worse we could only see each other here or there, occasional visits. I suppose each of us could manage that to some extent but in our hearts will it give us what we truly want, no matter how fond we are of each other?

Damn I do miss you Lizard boy; I'd give anything to hear you call me Rags just once more.

Yet as a couple I don't know how close we can ever become, because often when we need the other the most, they won't be there, and can't be there for who knows how long. We'd just be taking stolen moments wherever we can find them.

Devon, I don't know about you but I want someone who **can** be with me, and you deserve the same, even if for you it is only companionship. I'd think you'd get more out of it in the long run.

I can picture you so easily, standing before me, a scowl on your face, and slashing your tail about in your irritation. Next will come the walls slamming into place and the hurt anger.

I love you this is hard enough for me to say, I know it isn't easy on me, so it wouldn't be easy on you either but it is the truth and the truth must be told, even when it hurts, sometimes, especially, when it hurts.

I look at my dad and Cathy, my Aunts and my Uncles and I realize deep inside what they have and share with their spouses is what I want, not a sometimes relationship.

Sure an off and on again relationship could work Devon, if we both really worked at it, but take a look at Mike and Rahab, or Seth and Gabby and tell me honestly that you don't want that sort of relationship for yourself.

That is what Leo here meant when he told me I couldn't have what my father has.

It isn't a matter of just loving but how much time you can spend with those you love.

Okay, even if we found a way to work things out and forged ahead, we got married and I became pregnant with your child. What then Devon?

A blessed event, a child for both us, and for our families, and so much joy and happiness because of it, but how quickly would that be crushed?

Could I travel while pregnant, would it be safe?

If I even suspected I was pregnant I would have to stay in whichever world I was presently on to play it safe. Then we would have to decide where the child would live, which means one of us would be missing out on crucial growing periods of the child's life.

One parent would be more of a stranger, while the other was the provider.

I don't think there is anything wrong in one person raising a child Devon, but I believe that children do better when both parents play an active role in their development.

The child would be bounced back and forth, between the life of the poor to the life of riches, learning it isn't safe to reveal himself and yet walking openly in public. Talk about conflicting messages.

I don't think that such a life is fair to any child Devon, never mind what is fair to us. Yet again it would have to be if both of us were to share in any of our children's lives, the sharing of the joy, pain triumphs and defeats that bind you closer as a couple and a family.

I might not have had my mother, but I did have the clan, I had stability, and Karena always treated me like I was one of her children. In many ways she was my mother, and I recall that when I was six I often called her mom.

Shuttling the child back and forth isn't right, but then again one of us alone keeping the child while the other visits isn't right either for the child ought to know both families. I would not want to give up a child of mine, even if it is to live in a fancy home, with all that money could buy. I don't think you want to see your child staying in the sewers, when you could give it a better, safer life.

No matter where the child is, it will learn ninjitsu, so that isn't a worry or concern. But the situation of a child being taken from a parent entirely could lead up to things like kidnapping.

Suddenly I understand why my mom did what she did even more; I also can see why Gabby ran when she felt Leo would take her child from her.

It is strange and a little scary looking at something like that and knowing where it comes from or how it could come about, from feelings of tenderness and love.

No matter what Devon children in our relationship just wouldn't be a good thing, and ought to be prevented, and yet I know that you, like me, want to have a family, children, of your own.

Oh Devon, what kind of life will we be living twenty years from now? What if all this does come to pass?

In twenty years we may have realized we threw our lives away waiting for each other, or we could move on and find companionship and some form of happiness with some one closer to home.

In twenty years we may have surpassed the odds against us, and had a child only for our lives to be in constant turmoil and strife, full of arguments and hatred, tearing one another apart. If that is to come to pass any happiness we once dreamed about having with one another will cease to exist.

I wish I could see you Devon, and tell you to your face, even though it would hurt you. But then again since more time has passed for you, you may have all ready come to the conclusion that I am just starting to reach.

It is even possible that Gaele has made the connection between humans and mutants and you have found someone else to share your life with and forgotten about me,

I love you Devon but as much as I want to be with you and see you again I realize now that a relationship beyond, just friends, can't be.

If things had been different and I couldn't return home, I would be your wife, and possibly have given you a child, and learned to settle in to your lifestyle, but it wasn't meant to be Devon. I was meant to return home, and really this is where I belong.

I wish you luck, I wish you the very best. I hope you find someone to be with, to share your life with. I hope that you will always consider me your friend.

I know I will probably always have some feelings for you, storing them deep in my heart but I also know Devon that I can't hold on to this, because I'm only miserable with waiting and longing to see you again.

So I guess Devon, there is nothing left but to say goodbye.

…

Rama gasped as she read the last bit on the paper, a deep empty longing ache filled the pit of her stomach as she placed the pen and paper down, and placing her hands over her face she rocked slightly as she began to cry.

It was a deep anguished wail of heart felt pain and hurt and loss, that came from the depth of her soul, but found release and freedom for that release in the simple exercise of writing.

Rama knew she still loved Devon for all the things he was but she had also learned that what Devon could give her wasn't quite enough, and she recalled another expression of love.

'_If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn't it never was.'_

It was appropriate in its own way, after all she had to let Devon go, and most likely she would never see or hear from him again. If she did connect with Devon, who knows how long in the future she might only learn that their love could not withstand the depth and space of time that had separated them to begin with.

It didn't mean that they didn't love one another; it just meant that they knew letting love go, and saying goodbye was the only way to maintain what you felt for the other.

TBC


	11. Epi:Unconditional love

Time To Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

**Epilogue: Unconditional Love.**

For Rama the bitter realization that her life with Devon was truly over was, hard to accept, she found herself crying in secret, but she knew in her heart that saying goodbye to Devon was inevitable.

Mike felt for his daughter, but didn't know what to say, he knew the blow while harsh would have to fall sooner or later, yet seeing Rama's reaction and her sullen melancholy made him wonder if, perhaps there might have been some other way.

Some thing to spare her the pain and heartache that she was going through for the boy she'd probably never see again.

Seeing Rama broken hearted and trying to hide her emotions and feelings was a hard thing to do, especially when she slipped and he could feel, all too strongly how she really felt.

Yet within a few days, Rama had finally managed to accept the fact, to the extent that she no longer seemed so weepy or slipping off to be by herself, but she was still quiet and smiled only slightly here or there.

Cathy nodded, "She's coming around Mike. Saying goodbye is never easy, now she just needs someone a little closer to home to love."

Mike snorted and gave Cathy a mock glare, "So he can break her heart and we go through this again?" he wondered aloud, arching an eye ridge, "No Rama doesn't need that."  
"What would you have her do Mike?" Cathy asked incredulously, "Have her stay daddy's little girl for the rest of her life? Never having anyone for herself?"

"As a future jonin, you really think she is going have time for a husband or children?" Mike countered.

"If it is important to her she will make time." Cathy responded lifting her head, and tossing back her hair, she smirked at him, "You can't hold her back, or deny her the right to find happiness with someone else Mike."

"Who said I was going too?" Mike asked innocently.

Cathy gave a low wry chuckle "Lets see, ever since I met you, your biggest fear and worry has been for Rama, and yet in spite of the trouble she gets into she consistently reminds you, that she can stand on her own." Cathy looped her arm through Mike's and snuggled closer to him, "She knows the value of family and love but she longs to share that love in a meaningful way with others."

Mike purposely misconstrued her words, "She has us to share her love with." He stated casually.

"That isn't what I meant and you know it Mike. You can't be her husband her mate, her lover." Cathy paused and took a breath, "Rama needs someone special who can understand her and accept her for who she is,"

Mike sighed a bit reflectively and a sad wistful look came to his green eyes, "I know she does. She needs someone that she wants to be with the rest of her life, someone that she couldn't live without," Mike admitted, with a bit of reluctance, "But I worry about that because I really don't know what kind of guy she could find who would be willing to give up so much to be with her, and what about ulterior motives."

Cathy glanced up at Mike, "We have time to worry about that, after all she has to find someone first and I don't think she is ready to move on, she needs time." Cathy murmured, she grinned a bit, "I doubt you want someone getting Rama on the rebound."

Mike squeezed Cathy closer to him.

…

Kali sat beside Splinter's grave beside Rama, "So you really going move on to someone else?"

"I can't wait for Devon, Kali" Rama took a deep breath.

"But you **still** love him" the younger girl protested, "Isn't love enough?"

"Love is a great deal, but the distance and time between us, is its own hurdles. For everything there is a season, a time to be born and a time to die, I time to sow and a time to reap, a time of peace, and a time of war, a time to hold on and a time to let go…" Rama sniffed a bit, "I have to let Devon go, just like we had to let the Master go. It wouldn't have worked out." Rama declared.

Kali scowled at her cousin, shaking her head causing the blond curls about her shoulders to flap a bit, "You love him and…" she puffed out a breath of air in exasperation, "Just like that you will let him go."

"Kali what choice do I have?"

"If dad hadn't..." the girl began in protest.

"Your father isn't to blame Kali, he is right it would be dangerous to try and reach Devon again."

Kali gave Rama a sour look "Your just saying that!" she retorted.

Rama chuckled softly, "Yes, I still love Devon and probably always will and perhaps any guy I come across may be measured up to him by some extent."

Kali smirked, "I knew it!" she gloated.

"But I don't want Devon waiting for me, and I don't want to waste my life waiting for him." Rama explained, "I guess I'd rather let go and search for happiness closer to home, then hold on to him and long for happiness I may never have."

Kali scrunched her face up in puzzlement "Huh? Say what?"

Rama grinned, "You know the old saying a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

She waited until Kali nodded.

"Well it is the same principle really. If I couldn't have returned home I would be his wife, but I would have missed all of you." Rama admitted.

"Even Aiden?" Kali asked.

"Even him" Rama agreed, "But you know Kali, I sure hope that Devon gets a chance to have the family he wants, he deserves it."

"I guess you won't know one way or another but if you could have changed things would you Ramiela?" Kali asked curiously.

"You mean stayed with him and lose all that I care for here? I don't know if I could have, or even if I'd be willing to. But I do know one thing if I ever get the chance to see him or be with him again I'd like to try giving him the one thing that he couldn't have otherwise."

"A child of his own but, wouldn't that mean that you would have to become pregnant and…?" Kali began.

"There are many ways to do it Kaliann, after all, there are babies who have been born to surrogate mothers, or they can bring it about through test tubes and the like." Rama insisted.

"That is so unnatural," Kaliann grumped.

"Maybe, but if it is the only way for Devon to have a child of his own, and all I have to sacrifice is an egg for it, I'm sure there is a way it could be done with out me being tied down and pregnant for nine months" Ramiela stated.

"Why would you want to though?" Kali demanded.

"When my mother decided to give birth to me, she gave a great gift, to not just my dad but the entire clan, a gift of pure, unconditional love. A gift that meant so much more to the clan and their future then she would ever know" Rama explained softly, she shrugged, "If Devon's clan can not bridge the gap between the mutant and human race then perhaps it will be Gabby's children who has that gene, but Devon shouldn't have to miss out" Rama insisted, "So it is possible to give him and his family a similar gift that can hold great dividends for their clan, for so little on my part." Rama shook her head, "It probably would never happen, my time with Devon is over and gone. I accept that, but if I had a chance, I feel almost, well obligated isn't the word, but I love him enough I want to do that for him and his family if they accept."

Kali smiled "Give him a gift of love that could forever bind you together, but if they take a viable egg from you, you'll never know if you have a child with Devon that way."

"Exactly, it would be better for me, I wouldn't have to worry about the child."

Kali beamed, "A gift of pure unconditional love that is what you'd change.

Rama nodded, but remained silent. The thought somehow helped her now, but she doubted the odds of ever seeing Devon again never mind asking him how he felt about such a thing. Most likely it would never come to pass, and she knew that, just as she knew that such a gift would probably never be given.

…

The family stood around the blazing bonfire, the crackling orange and yellow flames leaping and dancing about in the air, casting a bright glow around the family, as the fire ate hungrily at the wood piled under it. The black sky was studded with numerous stars; their light seemed dim compared to the fire's bright glow.

This was the last night at the farm, and Leo had decided to have the fire, He stood feeling the heat of its blaze.

"It is said that, the fire consumes all in its path leaving nothing to survive" Leo began, "But the flames of the fire are cleansing and often instead of leaving devastation give birth to new growth, new life. A fire regenerates, it can heal and rejuvenate." Leo smiled as he looked slowly around the fire at the separate families clustered here and there around, "The fire gives strength, can give fear, can leave a feeling of lost hope and yet underneath it all, there is always a spark a light, to hold back the dark, the shadows and fill us with warmth."

Leo stopped and walked towards the young chunin, " We have all needed a chance to renew and rejuvenate from the hopelessness and pain that filled all of us, but now as a family, as a clan we are ready to move on and go forward, with hope and new life." He came to a halt in front of Ramiela.

She looked up giving him a quivering smile, and then bowed slightly before him, dropping slowly to a kneeling position, not in submission, but in full respect to the master of the clan.

Leo dropped a hand to her shoulder, "I must say the future does look bright." He stated with much admiration in his tone.

Rama rose to her feet with a shy grin before stating one of Splinter's old sayings "Sometimes it is better to light a single candle then to curse the dark."

Leo nodded agreement, he gave a wise understanding smile and hugged her, she returned the hug whole heartedly knowing that this too, was unconditional love, and a part of clan life. It meant that no matter what they would survive.

The time to say goodbye had come to an end, and now they had the path that stretched before them, and she was ready to walk that way no matter where it might lead.

The End


End file.
